The 5

Ok, things are going to get a little bit personal here...

I have to give a big shout out to McKenzie for inspiring this post.  Her family has this tradition...the tradition of The 5.  The 5 are five people that, should you have the opportunity to make out with them, you could totally do it and nothing you did would count.  They can be celebrities, random people you met on the street, fictional people...it doesn't matter.  They can be from any time too.  

I think this is a beautiful tradition.  The most wonderful part of it is...no one can judge your 5!

That being said, here are my 5.  Remember, this is a judge-free list...

Coming in at number 5: Seth Meyers.  He's smart, he's funny, he's cute.

Number 4: Mark Harmon.  Yes, I have a thing for grey hair.  Remember no one can judge me!

 

Number 3: Curtis Stone, aka the Take Home Chef.  Hot, and he can cook, AND he has an accent.

 Number 2: Agent Booth from Bones. (The character, not the actor.)  He is an all around good guy. Besides, come on, those arms...

Number 1: Dwayne "the rock" Johnson.  He has the most amazing arms ever.  And the most amazing tattoos on those arms. 

Alternates: Rob Brown, Antonio Bandaras, and George Clooney from his ER days.

Who are YOUR 5?

Cognitive Dissonance

...is a psychology term.  It is what happens in your mind when something happens that doesn't fit in with your schemas.  Schemas are the framework for how we view the world.  When we experience this contrast between our expectations and our reality, it causes internal conflict.  Your mind has to decide whether to assimilate (adjust your existing schema) or adapt (create a new schema altogether).  It can be pretty distressing and stressful.

I have been experiencing a lot of this lately.     

A lot of what I thought I knew about my self and my family has been called into question.  I won't go into details.  I am not someone who reacts well to change, period, but change like this is even harder for me.  It is intangible, there is nothing I can do about it, and it is extremely personal.  Parts of my identity are changing.  Not all of these changes are negative, but positive things can be stressful too. 

I've been thinking about it though.  Stress is not always negative.  It can be a great motivator, like when I procrastinate a project for school and end up focusing better because of the added pressure of a time limit.  It can be a catalyst for change; when I feel stressed out I change my attitude or my behavior to either cope more positively or change what I'm doing to reduce stress. 

I have decided, therefore, to change the way I look at stress.  Instead of letting it get me frazzled and crazy, I am going to try and see it as, "what is my mind trying to tell me to do?"  That way, I can fix whatever is wrong instead of stewing about it.  At the very least, changing my perception of stress will let me deal with it more effectively. 

It's finally official...

THEY ARE ENGAGED!!!!!

Cory's wonderful, brilliant, super fun girlfriend McKenzie is now his wonderful, brilliant, super fun FIANCE!  As far as I am concerned, I couldn't be happier.  They are so good together and will take good care of each other.  What an exciting weekend!  YAYAYAY!

St. George

I love holiday weekends...

And road trips. 
Especially when the two go together!

This last Presidents day weekend, I went to St. George with Cory and Wade and McKenzie and her brother and sister.

Normally I get super nervous when I meet new people and I usually either do not talk, for fear of humiliating myself, or say something completely retarded and actually humiliate myself.  But I didn't this time!  McKenzie, Morgan, and Dane were so much fun!  I felt like I have known them forever.  We stayed up late every night playing games and watching movies and laughing.  

This is actually what Wade looked like for most of the trip...

We found this thing that measures how good of a kisser you are at a restaurant we went to.  What will Wade's score be?

ZERO!!  Bwahaha!

To celebrate her passing the MAT, Cory gave Morgan herpes.

This is me sneakily taking my picture with Cory while they were getting ready to go fishing.

  It was so nice to have a break and make some new friends!  Loved it :)

blerg!

One of my TV heroines, Liz Lemon, uses that word quite a bit, and it perfectly describes my week!

Once again time has slipped away from me. 

Don't worry though, I will be back with more when things calm down in a few weeks. 

For now, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Breaking Promises

I am going to break a promise I made a while ago to my blogging audience.  I am going to be a negative for a little bit. 

Do you ever get in to a rut or a funk?
I am in one right now.  I feel restless and unsettled and unsure about a lot of things.  I want a change.  I want things to stay the same.  I want to know what the heck it is that I want! 

And I know what the answer is.  The answer is to trust my instincts and God's guidance.  Neither of those two things have ever led me astray.  It is hard sometimes though. 

A lot of this is coming out now just because I am exhausted and stressed.  I have a lot to get done this week still and it's already Thursday. 

Well, I just needed to get that off my chest.  Tomorrow is a new day right?  Goodnight, fellow bloggers!

God is Authoritative

Some of you know (because I've told you way more than you wanted to hear *coughAndreacough* sorry...),  my research project is about parenting styles and how that effects children's moral socialization.  (In other words, how does they way parents interact with kids effect the way they perceive and internalize the difference between right and wrong?)  I've been reading a lot about parenting styles.  There are 3 basic ones:
Authoritarian: High demandingness, low warmth.  These are the no-nonsense parents.  What they say goes because they said so.  No negotiation, no flexibility.
Permissive: Low demandingness, high warmth.  These are the ones who cater to their child's every need.  They have no expectations and no limits.
Authoritative:  High demandingness, high warmth.  These parents have standards of behavior, but they are realistic and developmentally appropriate for the child.  They also explain and give reasons for the rules.  They are willing to negotiate on less important things, like what their kids wear or stuff like that.

I bet you can guess which one has the most positive outcomes for kids.  Children of Authoritative parents a usually the most obedient, have fewer behavior problems out side of the home, are independent, creative, and self-reliant.  They are also happier, have better relationships with their parents, and view their parents in a more positive light. 

God is Authoritative and I will tell you why.  He has clear expectations for how we should behave.  They are the commandments.  They all have reasons behind them, which are explained to us through the Prophets, the scriptures, and personal revelation.  He wants us to learn the rules and principles behind His law so that one day we can be like Him.  He is sensitive to where we are in our spiritual development and never gives us tasks that are beyond our capabilities; they are always "developmentally appropriate."  His expectations are realistic: do the best that you can and keep trying.  He even provided us with a Savior so that when we don't meet His standards (notice I said when not if...), it is ok.  We can repent.  He is warm and responsive to our needs.  His love is absolutely unconditionally and I for one have been blessed by his warmth infinitely more than I deserve. 

It is amazing how everything, everything, comes back to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  This is why I get so frustrated with people who see faith and science as mutually exclusive:  I've been reading scientific studies that totally support my faith that God is the Perfect Parent.  Science has strengthened my faith. 

I am so glad that I know what I know and have the examples that I have.  I love my Heavenly Father so much! 

Anyway, I don't know if that made any sense.  I had a light bulb moment with this and wanted to share it with you all :)