Cognitive Dissonance

...is a psychology term.  It is what happens in your mind when something happens that doesn't fit in with your schemas.  Schemas are the framework for how we view the world.  When we experience this contrast between our expectations and our reality, it causes internal conflict.  Your mind has to decide whether to assimilate (adjust your existing schema) or adapt (create a new schema altogether).  It can be pretty distressing and stressful.

I have been experiencing a lot of this lately.     

A lot of what I thought I knew about my self and my family has been called into question.  I won't go into details.  I am not someone who reacts well to change, period, but change like this is even harder for me.  It is intangible, there is nothing I can do about it, and it is extremely personal.  Parts of my identity are changing.  Not all of these changes are negative, but positive things can be stressful too. 

I've been thinking about it though.  Stress is not always negative.  It can be a great motivator, like when I procrastinate a project for school and end up focusing better because of the added pressure of a time limit.  It can be a catalyst for change; when I feel stressed out I change my attitude or my behavior to either cope more positively or change what I'm doing to reduce stress. 

I have decided, therefore, to change the way I look at stress.  Instead of letting it get me frazzled and crazy, I am going to try and see it as, "what is my mind trying to tell me to do?"  That way, I can fix whatever is wrong instead of stewing about it.  At the very least, changing my perception of stress will let me deal with it more effectively.