Consistancy??

My BFF Andrea and I made a pact... She would remind me to update my blog and I will help her study for her Human Development class. So here I am! What can I say, we are such a good team :)


As I was looking back over my previous posts, searching for some inspiration, I realized how much has changed. My first post was in September of 2008. Back then I was a Music major, was working at the jordan landing Children's Place, and was just starting out. I was making new friends (Lindsay, Becca, Melissa), and trying to keep up with old ones (Andrea, Chelsea). It was a very uncertain time for me.

Now, almost two years later, so much has changed! I'm going to be a psychologist when I grow up, though I still don't know for 100% what kind. I still work for The Children's Place, but I've transfer ed stores, worked under 3 different managers, and gotten pretty good at my job if I do say so myself. My new friends have become my best friends. Two of them are married now, and I was part of one of their weddings. My old friends have become even closer. I feel totally comfortable around campus; I was even able to show Cory around a little bit (He's transferring up to the U this fall. Yay!) !

It's weird to look back at where we used to be. You are the same person, but not. You think, "I wish I could tell me everything I've learned since then." But do you really think you'd listen? Two years ago, I would never have believed I would be doing what I'm doing now, and be so happy doing it. Nothing stays the same. Especially people. We try; oh how we try! We love our comfort zones and our routines. But time marches on as they say, and we don't realize just how much changes.

I do take some comfort, though, in the fact that a lot of important things will never change; the principles of the gospel, the basics of who we are, truly important friendships, the love of family. One of my favorite hymns is "Be Still My Soul," and my favorite line of that says, speaking of Christ, "Through every change/he faithful will remain." He will always be there, the one true consistancy. Our lives may change and we may change, but the things that really matter will last.

...it's too late...or early...depending on how you look at it

OK, yes I know it's the middle of the night.

I've just been thinking...a lot. In fact, that is why I am STILL awake. (Do you ever have those nights when your brain just refuses to shut down?!?)

Anyway, here is what I've been thinking:

1) Grad school- this new mile stone is very rapidly approaching for me...I only have 3 semesters until I have my bachelors. I mean Whaaat? It seriously feels like high school graduation was yesterday! The grad school question has several parts
1.1- What should I even study? Right now I'm debating between school psychology, and developmental psychology.
School psych = working with kids and parents, all around good times.
Developmental psych = researching how people grow and change over time.
I never thought I would enjoy research, but since this RA internship started I've begun to think that it's a possibility. BUT I would love to have a more direct impact on people.
1.2- Where? There are so many great programs. Where should I go? Who should I study with? In state, out of state? Who knows!
1.3- People's reactions- People *couguysgh* give me some interesting feedback when they find out what my plans are. It's either like they get intimidated, or they judge me for NOT being in a hurry to get married and have babies. Don't get me wrong...I want a hunky husband and a cute family with all my heart. I'm just not going to run out and get hitched to the first thing male that moves that comes a long.

2) Priorities- Sometimes I wonder where I'm going. What should I be doing to prepare for what Heavenly Father has in store? What does Heavenly Father have in store for that matter?

Which leads to number 3. I'm almost embarrassed to bring it up...
3) Marriage- I know, I know, I'm only 20. But in Utah, that is almost an old maid. In the last 6 months, I've had 4 of my friends get married, plus 2 more in the next 2 weeks. Really? Am I really going to be the only single one of my friends?

And last, but never least,
4) It is waaaaay too late/early to be thinking about stuff as deep as this.

So, as Meg Ryan says in "You've Got Mail," I just wanted to put this out there to the great cosmic void and see if I get any answers. Goodnight, dear void.

Words, Words, Words!

I'm going to say this, despite the risk that I will sound like a total nerd:

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITTEN LANGUAGE!

Text books, essays, poems, short stories, scriptures, the back of the cereal box, you name it!

It is strange to think about...what are words anyway? Symbolic representations of sounds, that are symbolic symbols of objects, or emotions, or ideas. They have the power to make us laugh, cry, fear, swell with pride, and think out side ourselves. If you can read, you can travel around the world. If you can read, you can experience other people's lives. If you can read, you can teach yourself to do anything, from cook a gourmet meal, to build a boat out of a few sticks and a rain poncho. Writing can convey thoughts and ideas that no other medium can. It is so powerful!

Lately I have had a little more time than usual to read for pleasure and it made me realize how much I miss my books. Recently, a few people have asked me for good books to read over the summer so I thought I'd share some of my favorites here, and tell you why I love them so much.

1) Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte is probably my favorite book of all time. I think I've read it about 10 times, and am starting to have parts of it memorized. It is an apologetically romantic book, with an openly cheesy ending. But I'm OK with that, because along the way, it discusses morality, Christianity, faith, family, and a million things in between, with out feeling like a sermon.

2) If you are looking for something just plain fun, try the Amelia Peabody series by Elizabeth Peters. It is a series of mysteries focusing on Egyptologists Amelia Peabody, and Radcliffe Emerson. The books are so so so fun! They are great "escapist" stories, if you just want to get away from reality for a few hours.

3) I have a feeling lots of people will hate me for saying this, but Walden by Henry David Thoreau is absolutely beautiful. I know, I had to read it in high school too, and I hated it. Then I started to feel guilty about judging poor Henry so harshly and gave it another chance. When I was left on my own to interpret it how I wanted to, I found it to be philosophical, with out being heavy handed. Lovely!

4) If you like things a little darker, try Brahms Stoker's Dracula. It has kind of an abrupt ending, but it is super intense. The twilight series is total lame-sauce compared to this book.

5) One of the first things I remember is my dad reading us To Kill A Mocking Bird. Everyone should hear that book read by someone with a southern accent. I didn't appreciate the whole story, though until I was much older. It is really simple, but that is what makes it profound. It is the world seen through a child's eyes. Children have a way putting things in perspective.

6) The Great Gatsby...oh boy, this is one of my other most favorite books ever. It's a pretty fast read, but it will make you stop and think. It is what Cory likes to call an "onion book." There are so many layers. Depending on your mood when you read it, it can be a totally different story each time you open it.

7) If you haven't read any of E. B. White's work, you are totally missing out. There are of course his classic children's stories; The Trumpet of the Swan, Charlotte's Web, Stewart Little. Those are all great, heart warming books. I didn't know until I was a junior in high school that he was also a quite famous columnist and essayist in his day. I read a collection of his essays called One Man's Meat for an assignment and fell in love. He is so optimistic and straight forward. His ideas and style are so unique, and yet so simple and obvious. It makes you think, but is uplifting at the same time.

8) Farenheit 451 is, ironically, a book about a future where books are against the law. It is totally thought provoking, and a little scary. The characters are great, the style is easy, and it won't take you long to get through.

Fictive Kin

In a couple of my classes at school we have been talking about a social construct called "Fictive Kin." Basically, your fictive kin is the family you choose... those friends you find that become a part of the family.

I was super lucky today and got to see two of my "sisters" in one day! I spent the morning in Centerville at my friend Lindsay's wedding shower that her sisters-in-law threw for her. It was super fun to get to see her around her family. They were so warm and accepting of me. Lindsay and I didn't really click at first. I was SO intimidated by her, and she thought I was a snob. However, we got to know each other really well in 7:30 am music theory. By the end of our first semester we were BF. We bonded over our computer retardedness and our mutual crush on the professor...(imagine if Linds, :) Sorry, inside joke...). Ever since then we have been tight. We go on super great shopping adventures, vent about choir to each other, work out at the gym together, and enjoy excellent Tesoro hot chocolate on a regular basis. I am so glad that first impressions don't always last! And I'm so honored that she is including me in her wedding.

My other "sister" showed up with "our" mommy at my work tonight. The two sweet ladies then brought me back a smoothie. It totally made my night! I was having a bit of an attitude about being there, but they cheered me right up. Andrea and I met my sophomore year of high school, and started really hanging out right before we moved to Pennsylvania. She was one of the few people who made an effort to keep in touch. At that point of my life, that meant so much to me! We, ironically, got really close that year, and have stayed that way since. She is a beautiful, graceful, and kind-beyond-words person who just gets me. We definitely speak the same language :) We talk/laugh/cry about anything and everything together. (Mostly we laugh...oh boy, do we laugh together...good times!) I know we can always count on each other when we need it. It's nice to have some one who you can lean on, and who can lean on you.

These are just two examples of my dear Fictive Kin family. I don't know what I did to deserve such great people around me; my actual family is amazing, plus I have a pretty good sized list of people like Andrea and Lindsay who I have "adopted." What a good day!

My (Eternal) Childhood

Since my last post was pretty negative, I decided to write about something happy this time.

So let's talk about my wonderful mother! Those of you who know her know she is seriously one of the happiest people; if you don't know her, you are missing out big time!

I've taken quite a few Development classes as of now. The more I learn, the more I realize how lucky I am to have my mom. One class I'm in is called Parent Child Relationships. Almost everything the text book says is "ideal" parenting is just common sense to me because that is how my mom parented! She was always willing to get down and play with us and be silly. She made sure we knew she loved us, by telling us, and showing us every day. She respects us as individuals and works really hard to help us however she can. Though some of you might be shocked by this, I actually got in trouble as a child. Yes, it is sad but true. My mom would always take the time to explain why I was in trouble, why whatever it was i had done was wrong, and to give an appropriate punishment. She has helped shape me in to a motivated, (mostly) competent, (mostly) good, adult. And when I mess up sometimes, it's not because she neglected to teach me anything; it's because I didn't listen.

So many people have told me, after they meet her the first time, that they feel like they have known her forever. I think I figured it out; she must have been super popular in heaven! Really, I think our spirits recognize other spirits we knew before this life. Every one feels like they have known her because they have! She was probably one of the valiant ones who talked us all in to comming down here in the first place.

I love my mom and I am so blessed to have her in my life. :)

Ok, I just need to get something off my chest. If you don't want to read a bitter diatribe feel free to stop reading right now... ( the last paragraph is ok.)
If you're still with me, don't say I didn't try to warn you.
I am so SICK of rude people. Why can't we all just have a little common courtesy and love each other? Why? Is it really so hard to hold the door open for someone? Would it make you late to work to slow down and let someone merge in front of you on the free way?
Today at work a lady was in the store for 30 minutes after we closed. She didn't apologize, made a huge mess, and was very rude. How arrogant is it to expect two people to keep a store open just for you? I mean really, it's not like I have things to do, or a family who I want to spend time with or anything like that. (That was sarcastic, in case you couldn't tell.)
Most of the rudeness that we see day to day is pretty harmless, just thoughtless. But there is a line, and the news media has crossed it. One of my very best friends lost two of her nieces this week. It was so tragic and obviously beyond heart breaking for her and her family. The news media, however, couldn't respect that. They have been calling, showing up at her and her brothers house, pushing for a statement, and in general intruding on their grief! Where is their sense of decency and respect for the family? I have been on the receiving end of this behavior and it stinks. I don't care if you need a story or if you have a deadline. There is no need, NO need at all, to treat people that way. In instances like this rudeness becomes more than thoughtless. It hurts people.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, just slow down please. Think before you speak. Look before you run around in such a hurry. I am totally guilty of this too. However, now it is has been called to my attention, and one of my new new years resolutions is to be kinder. Imagine how much happier we could all be if each of us decided to do one or two less rude things a day? Just thought I'd throw all this out there...

Thirsty for Knowledge

So the semester is off to a smashing start! (Wow, that was a nice alliteration...) I am taking some very interesting classes right now to kick off my new major! I love social science and all the different facets of study involved in it.
I was walking through the hallway of one of the buildings I have a class in and could hear some of the lectures going on. In on classroom there was a lecture going on about measuring statistical importance. Next door was a discussion about the affect of attachment in infancy across the life course. Across the hall from that was a creative writing class; "Your story should have a clear climactic center..." Then I went to my class, Parent and Child Relationships, and learned about the challenges faced in the adoption triangle. I was a little early to my next class and accidentally walked in on a graduate level chemistry class critiquing each others experiment models.
As I was trying to sit as quietly and unobtrusively as possible in the back of the room, I couldn't help but be amazed at how much knowledge is passed around at that University...knowledge about everything from developmental psych, to particle physics, to effective verb usage. The vastness of it all is a little awe-inspiring. And I was thinking, "How did I get to be so lucky, that I can come here every day and be a part of that?" Sometimes I take for granted the fact that I have all this information right at my finger tips. I learned today that only about 30 percent of the population of the United States will graduate from college. As someone who loves to learn, I am so blessed with the opportunity to do that. The University of Utah (and I think all universities in our state) is so special. There is something so comforting in knowing that human knowledge is expanding and being given to the next generation. Places like the U facilitate that in a beautiful way.
I also get to learn from some pretty amazing instructors. This is going to sound stalker-ish and weird, but I googled a couple of my professors today, just out of idle curiosity. I was amazed at the amount of research they had published and the other appointments they had held. There are so pretty prestigious minds at work right in front of me every day. On the other hand, I also discovered that they are just people, with families, friends, insecurities, and grocery shopping to do (yes, one of the was on twitter...) .
I don't know why all of this struck me so hard today, but it did. And I don't know what makes me think that any of you care, but I'm sharing it any way. I am one lucky young lady, that's for sure!