Struggling With Faith'

I have never really struggled with faith before...well, that's not true.  I am pretty skeptical by default.  I guess what I mean to say is that I have never doubted God was there.  I have questioned what His nature is, what His role is in our lives (and what our role is in His life for that matter), and what He expects of us.

Recently I've been thinking about what motivates people (including me) to be "good" or to be "moral". I watched a TED talk, or read something, or was talking with someone, somewhere where someone was making the case that religion cheapens morality; being a good person for the sake of securing some special status or position in the next life makes it extrinsically motivated and self-interested.  It is only when we can let go of a God who rewards and punishes us, and instead make good moral choices for their own sake, that we can be truly good people.  I had never thought of it this way before.

Honestly, I can appreciate this argument, and find it compelling.  In one aspect I agree.  Our choices are much more meaningful, for good or bad, when we are intrinsically motivated and take ownership of them.  I've been struggling with this idea for a long time now: is it possible to be moral with out God?  Because of my life experience, the only conclusion I can come to is yes, it is.  And I know, because I see it all the time - continually - that people can live fulfilling lives bursting with meaning and purpose without consciously acknowledging "God."  I have also seen people lead totally immoral lives using religion and "God" as a cover or excuse for their bad behavior.  All of this makes me wonder, then, what is the point of God?

I'm not sure I can answer that 100% or that I will ever be able to.  Don't get me wrong, I still firmly believe in God.  It's just my understanding of who He is that is shifting.  

The LDS church teaches that part of the point of living here on this earth is to learn to be like God.  This means that, eventually when we have learned enough and become perfect*, we can also create our own worlds and raise our own spirit children.  If that is true, then at one point or another we are going to have to learn to function autonomously anyway.  It also implies that God, too, has to 'follow the rules'...that is what makes him God.  He understands the laws and knows how to follow them completely.  We, then, can also gain that knowledge.  Also, the laws must then be bigger than God; they must come from some place higher than Him^.  Where is that?

Another aspect of this, that is perhaps more relevant in the short-term (during this mortal experience on Earth), is that as Christians we are to follow Christ's example.  I don't think that he was motivated to live a perfect life and then sacrifice him self for us because he wanted power and position.  In fact, another LDS teaching tells us that seeking power was one fundamental  difference between satan and Christ.  Satan wanted God's glory for himself, while Christ wanted to help his brothers and sisters.  If we are to truly follow Christ, we must learn to emulate his behaviors, of course.  But perhaps the more important piece is to fully internalize his motives.  If we can do that, if we can learn to selflessly live for others for no other reason than it is the right thing to do, our actions will follow.

'After re-reading this post, the title doesn't seem appropriate.  I'm not sure what to call whatever it is I am struggling with.  The Nature of Divinity?  Sounds too pretentious.  Yo, God, Who Are You?  Too sacrilegious.  I don't know...I'll figure it out though.

*The way we become perfect and what perfection looks like is a whole other can of worms...one that I have barely started to open...Future posts I guess :)  

^Some people take issue with this teaching, and I can see why.  It would be easy to say that it lowers God; that it makes Him 'less'.  I don't think that's necessarily true, or that is necessarily a bad thing.  First of all, it makes God seem more approachable to me.  He was once like me.  Second, acknowledging that God was once as man is now doesn't diminish the fact that he is no longer like man.  He has perfected himself; acknowledging that He had to go through a process and struggle and work to become that way makes Him seem much more nobel than a distant, all-powerful deity with no beginning in my opinion.  He is all-powerful, but He earned that power.