Life Events

I have been thinking a lot about major life events in the last few weeks.  I have experienced a lot of them in the last year: my big brother getting married, my dad leaving, my grandpa passing away, graduating from college, and going to graduate school soon.  And as I have been pondering all these goings-on, I realized that, although they were all marked by a specific event on a specific day, they are all the result of a much longer process.

Cory and McKenzie had to meet, date, fall in love, and then all of that was marked with a wedding.

Dad leaving was the result of years of him lying (to himself as much as anyone else) and poor decisions on his part.  (Those lies and poor decisions were, I believe, the result of him refusing to process his experiences in a healthy way.)

Graduating from college was a four year process of taking classes, writing papers, and generally all that school-ish stuff.  Grad school took a grueling process of applications, essays, interviews, and standardized tests.  All of that really started back in pre-school, where my formal education began.

Grandpa dying was really just the end of his process of living.  With out the life that lead up to it, his death would have meant nothing.  Because he impacted people around him and lived a life of purpose, it was extremely meaningful to me.

We live our lives and talk about them in terms of events.  If you ask for someone's life story, they will usually tell it to you in a series of events..."I was born on...I graduated from such and such school...I got married on this date..."  It's easy to say, "oh that was the day that I..."  Marking important events is necessary and valuable.  It lets us reflect, take in the importance, and let go if need be.  But it is also important to acknowledge the process that got us to that event.  Our lives are not a series of events...they are a series of processes that culminate in moments of meaning.  If we ignore the process, it is hard to find meaning in or make sense of the important moments.