Family

With everything that has happened in the last few weeks, I have totally fallen behind on my blog.  Here is a quick recap:

My Grandpa passed away about three weeks ago.  I was at school, in the lab, working on some coding when I got a text from my mom saying he was in pretty bad shape.  I tried to call, but she didn't answer her cell phone, so I called my aunt Becky.  She said they didn't think Grandpa would make it through the weekend, so to come then if I wanted to see him.  To be totally honest, I didn't want to see him if he was in as bad a shape as they were saying.  I wanted to keep him in my memory the way he was the last time I had seen him: up and talking and joking, optimistic, pain-free, and at peace.  But I wanted to be there for my family.  On my way to the elevator, I ran in to my research advisor and her graduate student Stacia.  I was kind of a mess, so Stacia very kindly offered to drive me up to Bountiful.  She was great, and I was so thankful to have her help!

I got there probably around 5 and Grandpa passed away at 6:45-ish.  It was kind of amazing to see all of my moms siblings pull together and be there for each other.  My Grandma is an amazing woman with a lot of faith, and she totally set the tone for the rest of the family.  She was very sad (that doesn't even cover it), but in such a calm way.

Stacia and I were talking on the drive up about how families function as this sort of container of the past and window to the future.  I have been thinking a lot about that since.  It is really true.  In the days before he died, Grandpa was talking a lot about what it was like for him growing up.  His sister came down from Oregon and the two of them spent a whole day reminiscing and recording their memories for us.  Also seeing my grandparents age and begin to need extra help and support has helped me prepare, mentally and emotionally, for what will happen to my parents someday and even what will happen to me eventually.  Family is (or should be) a safe place where we can learn these important, and sometimes scary, life lessons.  It is a protective, supportive place.  I am so grateful that I have that.

For my Grandma's birthday a bunch of my aunts got together and watched the general relief society broadcast together.  They were kind enough to let me tag a long :)  It was a blast!  We got cafe rio (which is always delicious, and sat around talking and laughing and listening to the wonderful messages.

My parents went to mediation about a week ago and it was a train wreck from what I understand.  How can someone change so much?  I have really missed the support of two parents for the last few years.  It makes me really appreciate the fact that my extended family and my ward family are so amazing.

We have so many wonderful neighbors that have given us so much help and love.  All the phone calls, cookies (seriously...a ton of cookies...I am getting fat), cards, hugs, etc. have meant a lot.  Everyone says that they wish there was something they could do, but the fact is just being there and showing support means a lot.  It is a total cliche, but I never realized till now just how true it is.  They are part of my family.

I also have a ton of awesome friends and mentors.  The lab that I work in and the people there are so kind.  My faculty advisor and Holly and the graduate students that I work with have been super supportive as well.  My friend Allegra sent me a care package from Pennsylvania.  My friend Andrea has listened to me cry on the phone more times than I can count and always gives me the best words of wisdom.  They are part of my family, too.

Basically, the point I guess I want to make, is that families are so important...they are the most important.  And your family is probably bigger than you realize.  Just because you don't share a genealogy with someone doesn't mean they aren't your family.  If everyone, with in their families (biological or not), could just love each other and watch out for each other, it would solve a lot of problems.  Even if it didn't solve the problem, it would sure make it easier to handle.  Everything I have studied, academically, in personal experience, and in church, has taught me how crucial healthy families are to us as human beings.