Thursday, May 30, 2013

Happy Birthday Mama!

I seriously have the best mom.  And today is her birthday!  She is very generous.  All through high school and college, my friends always wanted to come hang out at my house because my mom adopts every one she meets.  All her nieces and nephews love coming to Aunt Jamie's house because she has cool toys and is not afraid to be silly and play with them.


I love my mom.  Happy Birthday lady!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

May Top Ten

I am 2 posts behind my pace of one blog a week!  So May is going to be catch up month.

Lately I've been trying to fight against my pessimistic tendencies by looking for cool people in the world.  And I have found some awesome people in unexpected places.  Some of them I think are awesome.  Some I disagree with and want to understand better.  But I find all of them fascinating.  Here are 10 living people I would like to meet someday.

10. Arianna Huffington - I think she is so smart, and usually right.  I really admire people who are well-reasoned. (I also love this talk that she gave at Sarah Lawrence College: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggMgAoSQpbI)

9. Julie Andrews - She is so classy!

8. Rainn Wilson - You should check out his youtube channel, Soulpancake.  It's hilarious and often profound.

7. Emily Deschanel - I have a feeling that we would be BFF...

6. Joanna Brooks - She is such an inspirational figure to me.  A lot of her story resonates with my experiences.

5. J. K. Rowling - I want to know how she was able to write such an intricate story, that is so developmentally accurate.  (One day, me and my friend Kiana are going to write an analysis of the series from a psychological perspective; the way the characters act and think change as they grow up is pretty accurate.)

4. Carol Gilligan - This name will mean nothing to a lot of you; she's an academic psychologist.  Again, this is not someone who I agree with all the time, but I think her story and her thought processes are fascinating.

3. Jim Holt - He wrote a book about the question, "Why is there something rather than nothing?"  He has some cool ideas, and has talked to a ton of interesting people (hear his interview on Radio West here: http://radiowest.kuer.org/post/why-does-world-exist-1).

2. Speaking of Radio West, I'd like to meet the host, Doug Fabrizio.  He is really sharp, asks the least idiotic questions of any interviewer I've ever heard, and is super good at hiding his personal biases. (Aaaand, this might actually happen...he went to high school with my parents...*wink* Mom *wink*.)

1. Jane Goodall - One of my secret, unfulfilled life ambitions is to be a biologist-anthropologist hybrid and study animals who live in social groups, like monkeys (and whales, and dolphins).  And I mean, what kind of awesome do you have to be to do the things she's done?

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Hard and Soft

I have been thinking a lot about subjective experience lately.  One of the main complaints about psychology (especially from the so-called hard sciences) is that you can't really study subjective experience in an objective way.  For example, a microbiologist can look at cells under  microscope; there is something tangible they can see and 'feel'.  A psychologist can't hold someone's attachment style in their hands; it's a totally theoretical construct.

Psychologists are also humans with their own biases and perceptions and implicit assumptions that they make, and they study other humans with biases, perceptions, and implicit assumptions.  (There is a quote I really love that says, "You can't do clear observation if you aren't in the field.  You can't be a pure observer if you're now in the field."  All psychologists have no choice but to be in the field.)  We work really hard, as a discipline, to make all these subjective things as objective as possible by carefully formulating theories, carefully constructing measures (interviews, experimental tasks, tests, questionnaires...), carefully controlling as many variables as we can, and carefully analyzing our data with carefully designed statistics.

In the end, though, being a human with biases, perceptions, and assumptions is complicated.  There is so much that influences how we are, and frankly, subjective experience matters.  To me, part of the value of psychology is that it is subjective to some degree.  That subjectivity also gives us flexibility - the task is to find the theory and accompanying constructs that best explain the phenomena we observe in real people.  I'm not saying we should abandon our attempts to be scientific in our approach to studying psychology at all (that's what philosophy is);  I am saying we should acknowledge the subjective, 'soft,' elements of the discipline, and use them to our advantage.

All the flack that psychology takes is symptomatic of a larger trend in our culture to undervalue 'softness,' by which I mean things that are less than concrete, things that are ephemeral, things that are not tangible, in short, things that are subjective.  Someone told me recently that I need to stop starting sentences with, 'I feel' and use, 'I think' instead (this was in a non-academic context - had it been at school, I would have been more ok with it).  Why should what I feel be less legitimate than what I think?  Why is intuition a less valid way of knowing than reasoning?  Again, I'm not saying that we should all be going off our gut reaction all the time.  I just feel that both ways of functioning are valid and appropriate in different contexts and for different people.

Some people at SRCD were talking about how we need to avoid the 'people are stupid' approach to research.  I think feel that if we don't pay attention to all facets of the human experience, especially the subjective ones, we are over simplifying, and subscribing to the 'people are stupid' approach to interacting with the world.  People are so varied, complex, and layered...enjoy that richness.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Everybody

I saw this on the internet the other day and I love it.  

This is what I think God is like.  There is a reason we call him Heavenly FATHER. 

Too often I cling to our limited vision of who God is and forget who he really is.  Well, let me back up.  I don't think as mortal human beings we are capable of understand God in His fullness.  But...

In developmental psychology we talk a lot about developmental tasks.  In adolescence a major task is to gain autonomy from your parents, in school aged children a main task is to learn how to interact with peers, in toddler hood, a main task is learning how to function on your own...  You get the idea.  While I don't think we are capable in this state of understanding God, I do think it is part of our 'developmental task' in this life is to try.  How can you emulate someone you don't know?

I also believe that, because we are separated to an extent from God, it is easy to project our earthly experiences onto Him.  We all carry with us our own set of experiences and expectations that color the way we approach the world.  That includes the spiritual world.  And it's not always a bad thing; it's a way to bring order and meaning to an otherwise confusing set of experiences. What is not so good though, is when we over-generalize, giving attributes to something or someone that don't apply.  This can lead to unfair misperceptions.  I think this is especially applicable to our conceptions of who God is because the tendency to project is compounded by the fact that we have such a limited perspective.  

I love, too, how excited both God and the boy/man are.  They are excited about the boy's life.  They are excited to see one another.  They are excited to learn about each other.  They are excited to sit down and have a meal of everything with everybody.  I'm not a parent, but I love watching those who are parents (good ones at least) talk about their kids.  I love hearing them brag about their child's positive qualities and accomplishments.  Or watching them with their kids at a playground; seeing their faces light up when their kid succeeds at something new, seeing their concern when their kid gets hurt. And I like to imagine God doing the same with us...bragging to his heavenly friends about our accomplishments, worrying about us when we are hurt, and wanting to comfort our sorrows.  Life can hurt us a little (or a lot), but it is also exciting, with lots of wonderful people and experiences.  God wants to be a part of all of it.

But my favorite thing, I think, is that Everyone is invited to God's table.  I look forward to the day when we can all sit down in God's kitchen and have a family dinner with Everyone.  I'll bring the dessert.

Maybe I am projecting here, but I think this is what God is like.  I hope I am right.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Summer Songs Vol. 5

I am done with my first year of grad school!  This is very exciting news for me.

The end of the semester also means that it is officially summer according to the Jessica Calander.  And that  means it's time to choose a summer song.  This year, I couldn't pick just one, so here they are.  (A big shout out to my friend Laura for her help in thinking of awesome editions to the list!)

Honorable Mention: Me and Julio Down By the School Yard (Paul Simon) - an oldie, but a goodie, as my mama would say.

Tied as official summer song:
Suntan (String Cheese Incident) - love it.
Ne Me Quitte Pas/Don't Leave Me (Regina Spektor) - weird music video, but a fun song.

May your summer be filled with sunshine, and long car rides with the windows down blasting happy songs like these!

In case you are interested, here is a list of previous years summer songs:
2009 - Bruises (Chairlift) Awe, Ali, do you remember this?  Good times...
2010 - Put Your Records On (Corinne Bailey Rae)
2011 - To Be Surprised (Sondre Lerche)
2012 - Voice in My Throat (Pearl and the Beard)

Sunday, May 5, 2013

SRCD

This is a few weeks late, but I need a break from this paper I'm writing.  So in the spirit of procrastinating, it's time to update my blog.

I went to the Society for Research in Child Development a few weeks ago in Seattle.  It was super fun and enlightening in a lot of ways.  First of all, Seattle is pretty cool.  It was, of course, gray and rainy most of the time I was there.  But my travel/office buddy Wendy and I made the best of it.  (Just as an aside, let's all take a moment to give a shout out to Wendy.  She is awesome, and was a lot of fun to travel with.  Not everyone makes a good travel companion, but Wendy was aces.)  Most of you won't be interested in the research that I heard about or what I learned academically.

There were a few other take-home-messages for me though.  First, listening to smart people argue is a trip.  My family - and no offense to you guys, you know I love you more than anything - has a hard time disagreeing with one another.  Someone ends up taking something personally and getting upset.  The disagreement becomes about the person rather than the ideas.  It was so different watching these really smart people disagree.  It was very professional and, even though sometimes things got a little heated, it stayed about the ideas.  And afterward everyone was able to go grab a coffee together and chat about normal people things.  I think there is a lesson in there for most of the world.

Second, every one you meet has a story.  I got to know some new people, and got to know some other people better.  I am always amazed by how rich and varied our experiences on this planet can be.  Perhaps I'm betraying my initial training in narrative research (thanks Cecilia!) but I love listening to people make meaning out of their experiences.  One of my life goals is to be able to appreciate that more, and subsequently be more sensitive to what may have contributed to someone's worldview.  I was talking with a friend the other day and she said that what she was most intolerant of was intolerance.  That really resonated with me and I think this will help with that.

Now I've procrastinated long enough...I've got two single spaced pages to go.  Back to work!


Tuesday, April 23, 2013




One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.
~Virginia Woolf