The last week has been, in a word, annoying. It seems that all the annoying people in the world have conspired to descend on me at once and do all the things that drive me batty. It's been a while since I made a top ten list, so this top ten is the ten things that I cannot stand:
10) Men who shave while they drive...on the freeway. Gross!
9) When people, who have no idea what they are talking about, pretend that they know everything.
8) Judging other people's life choices. Keep your opinions to yourself.
7) When people slow way down before they get in the turn lane.
6) Being rude for no reason...actually, just being rude in general. There is no need for that nonsense.
5) Willful, intentional ignorance. We are here to learn people!
4) Knocking something before you have tried it. If you haven't experienced something how do you know if you will like it or not?
3) When people say dumb things, or ask dumb questions. (Forget the old adage...dumb questions totally exist.) For example:
Customer: "This coupon is expired huh?"
Me: "Yes, we haven't been running that coupon since February."
Customer: "Oh. Can I use it?"
Me: "Unfortunately not. It's not even in our computer system any more."
Customer: "Oh, so it's no good anymore?"
Well, I wouldn't say it was no good. If you get stranded in your car on a cold winter night, you could use it as kindling for a very small fire...Seriously people??
2) People who try to argue about preferences. It's called an opinion because there is no right or wrong.
1) When dads spending time with their kids is described as "babysitting" for their wives. Babysitting is what you pay the 15 year old neighbor to do; parenting is what parents do. And last time I checked, it takes two people to make a baby...therefor the dad is just as much a parent as the mom.
Honorable Mention: When they announce in church, "we will now sing the hymn on page number..." The pages are not numbered, the Hymns are. The correct way to say it is, "We will now sing Hymn number..."
Monday, June 18, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
...does that make me a bad person?
Ok, three things...
1) This will be my last post about my father. You'll see why in a second.
2) I am tired of people judging me for my choice not to talk to my dad. The reason I don't is because It makes me too frustrated and I don't want to say things I will regret. Besides, everything he says is a lie anyway. (Also, stop telling me how awesome you think he is and what a great man he is. Um, yeah, because cheating on your wife for YEARS, ignoring your kids, and abandoning your family makes you an awesome person. What?!?)
3) I gave up hope a long time ago, long before he physically left, that he would be a normal/good dad. That's why we haven't gotten along since Jr. High. Now that he is moving to Florida (to be close to his girlfriend and her son), I actually feel relieved. I don't want him to be part of my life and the physical distance will make it easier.
...does that make me a bad person?
1) This will be my last post about my father. You'll see why in a second.
2) I am tired of people judging me for my choice not to talk to my dad. The reason I don't is because It makes me too frustrated and I don't want to say things I will regret. Besides, everything he says is a lie anyway. (Also, stop telling me how awesome you think he is and what a great man he is. Um, yeah, because cheating on your wife for YEARS, ignoring your kids, and abandoning your family makes you an awesome person. What?!?)
3) I gave up hope a long time ago, long before he physically left, that he would be a normal/good dad. That's why we haven't gotten along since Jr. High. Now that he is moving to Florida (to be close to his girlfriend and her son), I actually feel relieved. I don't want him to be part of my life and the physical distance will make it easier.
...does that make me a bad person?
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Utah...
...gets a bad rap sometimes. I am sad to say that it is probably the most misunderstood state in the US.
But I love it.
Sure, it has it's quirks. But what community doesn't? I feel like it's pros out weigh the cons. For example:
1) The people here are (mostly) nice. I mean, you get your bad eggs anywhere you go, but on the whole people here rock. Neighbors know each other. They bring you diner when you are sick. They watch your kids when you need a break.
2) There is a lot of emphasis put on being environmentally friendly. I didn't realize this until I lived somewhere else. We are very aware of our environment here, and take good care of our MANY national and state parks. On that point, there are sooooo many national parks and outdoor recreation areas and green spaces.
3) The terrain is super diverse. We have everything here, from the high desert, to the Uintas, to the red rock in the south. (Personally, southern utah red rock deserts are my favorite...)
4) One thing that really surprises people about Salt Lake City in particular is the diversity. It is this super liberal island in a sea of conservatives. I find the contrast fascinating, and refreshing. It's nice to know that, for the most part, people with such different values can coexist in relative peace.
5) There is a large movement of natural, local, sustainable agriculture. My neighbors, for example, over at Utah Natural Meat raise free-range, hormone-free cows, chickens, and pigs. There are farmers markets all over the place. Salt Lake City gives you a tax credit if you raise your on garden and/or chickens. It is relatively easy to get your hands on healthy food.
6) Fry Sauce...enough said.
7) The Arts here are really great, considering the size of the city. We have great museums (The Leonardo, the U of U Art museum, the Natural History museum, the gallery tour and the arts festival every year), great theatre (Hale, Pioneer, the Egyptian, and various community theaters), great music (the Depot, the State Room, the Venue, great local bands), and really good 'high art' (the Utah Symphony, Ballet West, great choral music in the Salt Lake Choral Artists and the Tabernacle Choir).
8) People care. More people do volunteer community service here than in any other state. My neighborhood just did a community yard sale to help a special needs girl in the area get a new bike...tons of people donated stuff and it all started with one Facebook post from this sweet girl's mom. With in 10 minutes this event was already in the works...amazing.
9) There is a very diverse minority population. Ok, I know what you are thinking but hear me out! It is true that Utah is a shockingly white state. But when I lived in Pennsylvania, everyone was either white or African American. Here, I know African Americans, Polynesians, Burmese, Thai, Latinos, Native Americans, Iranians, Afghanis, and Somalis. There are so many cultures represented in our communities.
10) As someone who has absolutely NO sense of direction, I have to say the grid system of streets in Salt Lake County pretty much is amazing. I can always find where I am going (or at least orient myself and find my way back to where I started).
And that is why I love my home state!
But I love it.
Sure, it has it's quirks. But what community doesn't? I feel like it's pros out weigh the cons. For example:
1) The people here are (mostly) nice. I mean, you get your bad eggs anywhere you go, but on the whole people here rock. Neighbors know each other. They bring you diner when you are sick. They watch your kids when you need a break.
2) There is a lot of emphasis put on being environmentally friendly. I didn't realize this until I lived somewhere else. We are very aware of our environment here, and take good care of our MANY national and state parks. On that point, there are sooooo many national parks and outdoor recreation areas and green spaces.
3) The terrain is super diverse. We have everything here, from the high desert, to the Uintas, to the red rock in the south. (Personally, southern utah red rock deserts are my favorite...)
4) One thing that really surprises people about Salt Lake City in particular is the diversity. It is this super liberal island in a sea of conservatives. I find the contrast fascinating, and refreshing. It's nice to know that, for the most part, people with such different values can coexist in relative peace.
5) There is a large movement of natural, local, sustainable agriculture. My neighbors, for example, over at Utah Natural Meat raise free-range, hormone-free cows, chickens, and pigs. There are farmers markets all over the place. Salt Lake City gives you a tax credit if you raise your on garden and/or chickens. It is relatively easy to get your hands on healthy food.
6) Fry Sauce...enough said.
7) The Arts here are really great, considering the size of the city. We have great museums (The Leonardo, the U of U Art museum, the Natural History museum, the gallery tour and the arts festival every year), great theatre (Hale, Pioneer, the Egyptian, and various community theaters), great music (the Depot, the State Room, the Venue, great local bands), and really good 'high art' (the Utah Symphony, Ballet West, great choral music in the Salt Lake Choral Artists and the Tabernacle Choir).
8) People care. More people do volunteer community service here than in any other state. My neighborhood just did a community yard sale to help a special needs girl in the area get a new bike...tons of people donated stuff and it all started with one Facebook post from this sweet girl's mom. With in 10 minutes this event was already in the works...amazing.
9) There is a very diverse minority population. Ok, I know what you are thinking but hear me out! It is true that Utah is a shockingly white state. But when I lived in Pennsylvania, everyone was either white or African American. Here, I know African Americans, Polynesians, Burmese, Thai, Latinos, Native Americans, Iranians, Afghanis, and Somalis. There are so many cultures represented in our communities.
10) As someone who has absolutely NO sense of direction, I have to say the grid system of streets in Salt Lake County pretty much is amazing. I can always find where I am going (or at least orient myself and find my way back to where I started).
And that is why I love my home state!
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Feminist Rant
Hold on to your hats folks, this is going to be a big one. I know I posted on Facebook about this already, but I couldn't do all my thoughts justice in a status update.
A few nights ago at work I was chatting with a customer while ringing her out. It came up somehow that I was moving to New York to go to graduate school and would be staying till I got my PhD. This woman, a total stranger, proceeded to tell me that I was making a BIG mistake. I should definitely not go because no self respecting LDS man would marry a woman with more education than him. I was completely shocked. I have gotten a similar response from other people, but usually not that bluntly, and usually they are from an older generation (this woman could not have been more than 35). I was completely taken aback and just kind of laughed it off at the time, but the more I think about it, the more cheesed I get!
First of all, she made it sound like LDS men are also uneducated...false! Over half of the 12 apostles have post-graduate degrees. Many were doctors or lawyers before entering full time church service. And ALL of them are well educated, either formally or self educated, and articulate. So who is to say that I won't marry someone who is also a Dr.? Then we would be equal.
Which leads me to my second point. If some guy doesn't want to marry me because he is intimidated by my brain and two or three little letters at the begining of my name, then I don't want to be with him anyway. What kind of shallow, insecure, and controlling man would care? I would hope that most men, and especially whoever I end up with, would be confident enough that it wouldn't matter. (However, having been dumped for this reason, I know that this attitude exists. And that makes me sad.) If I was an LDS man, I would be totally offended by this woman's remarks. What does it tell you about what this woman thinks of them? That they are shallow, sexist, and insecure. Come on guys! Prove her wrong!
Third, we were in Sugarhouse...the heart of residential Salt Lake. The majority of people who live in the neighborhood are not LDS, so she was making an awfully large assumption. It is true I am, and I love my church...so I guess I give off that vibe or something maybe? But still, this kind of attitude, that the whole world is Mormon, is the reason that so many non-LDS people don't like living in Utah. NO ONE should feel marginalized or excluded by their neighbors. What if I had not been a member of the LDS church? How would it have made me feel that she just assumed that I was?
Then there is the whole issue of...why the heck is it any of her business? I had never seen this person before, she talked to me for a whole 2 minutes, and then decided she knew better what I should do with my life than I did. Forget the fact that I have prayed about this decision, and discussed it at great length with my family...I obviously needed her to intercede and tell me to go against my heart and dreams and play it safe so that I could find a big strong man to take care of me. I am painfully aware of the fact that the LDS church encourages us as women to be wives and mothers. They also encourage us to educate ourselves, be it formally or informally. It just happens that my interests lie in the realm of formal education. I educate myself spiritually, too, with scripture and prayer and study. And I don't see why being educated and being a good mother and wife are mutually exclusive. On the contrary, I feel that everything I have learned, and the critical thinking skills I have acquired will only serve to make me a better wife, mother, and contributor to my religious and secular communities.
I want to be perfectly clear. I have huge respect for wives and mothers, whether they work outside the home or not. It takes HUGE amounts of dedication, intelligence, creativity, and love to be a stay-at-home mom. I have seen in my own mother's life how painful the pressure from society to be more than 'just' a mom can be. My mom is one of the most driven, well read people I know and she never got a college degree; she has largely taught her self. And this is true of so so many women in my community and family. I also admire the many women who work and still manage, somehow, to raise their children and be involved in their children's lives.
However, just because I don't have either of those roles yet, it does not make me less of a person. I can not put my life on hold and just wait for prince charming to come rescue me. First of all, he is probably out there somewhere getting awesome. I have to keep up so I am ready for him :) Second, what if he never comes along? I have to be prepared for that and be able to take care of myself. Third, I don't need to be "rescued!" I am perfectly able to create an interesting, fulfilling life on my own. Certainly it would be beyond fantastic to have someone to share all that with, but again, just because I am flying solo it doesn't mean I am some how 'less than'. And that is totally how that woman's comments made me feel.
It just breaks my heart that people are so rude. And it breaks even more to know that sexism is alive and well, even among women themselves. We ALL need to stop judging each other. To quote President Uchtdorf, "Stop it!"
A few nights ago at work I was chatting with a customer while ringing her out. It came up somehow that I was moving to New York to go to graduate school and would be staying till I got my PhD. This woman, a total stranger, proceeded to tell me that I was making a BIG mistake. I should definitely not go because no self respecting LDS man would marry a woman with more education than him. I was completely shocked. I have gotten a similar response from other people, but usually not that bluntly, and usually they are from an older generation (this woman could not have been more than 35). I was completely taken aback and just kind of laughed it off at the time, but the more I think about it, the more cheesed I get!
First of all, she made it sound like LDS men are also uneducated...false! Over half of the 12 apostles have post-graduate degrees. Many were doctors or lawyers before entering full time church service. And ALL of them are well educated, either formally or self educated, and articulate. So who is to say that I won't marry someone who is also a Dr.? Then we would be equal.
Which leads me to my second point. If some guy doesn't want to marry me because he is intimidated by my brain and two or three little letters at the begining of my name, then I don't want to be with him anyway. What kind of shallow, insecure, and controlling man would care? I would hope that most men, and especially whoever I end up with, would be confident enough that it wouldn't matter. (However, having been dumped for this reason, I know that this attitude exists. And that makes me sad.) If I was an LDS man, I would be totally offended by this woman's remarks. What does it tell you about what this woman thinks of them? That they are shallow, sexist, and insecure. Come on guys! Prove her wrong!
Third, we were in Sugarhouse...the heart of residential Salt Lake. The majority of people who live in the neighborhood are not LDS, so she was making an awfully large assumption. It is true I am, and I love my church...so I guess I give off that vibe or something maybe? But still, this kind of attitude, that the whole world is Mormon, is the reason that so many non-LDS people don't like living in Utah. NO ONE should feel marginalized or excluded by their neighbors. What if I had not been a member of the LDS church? How would it have made me feel that she just assumed that I was?
Then there is the whole issue of...why the heck is it any of her business? I had never seen this person before, she talked to me for a whole 2 minutes, and then decided she knew better what I should do with my life than I did. Forget the fact that I have prayed about this decision, and discussed it at great length with my family...I obviously needed her to intercede and tell me to go against my heart and dreams and play it safe so that I could find a big strong man to take care of me. I am painfully aware of the fact that the LDS church encourages us as women to be wives and mothers. They also encourage us to educate ourselves, be it formally or informally. It just happens that my interests lie in the realm of formal education. I educate myself spiritually, too, with scripture and prayer and study. And I don't see why being educated and being a good mother and wife are mutually exclusive. On the contrary, I feel that everything I have learned, and the critical thinking skills I have acquired will only serve to make me a better wife, mother, and contributor to my religious and secular communities.
I want to be perfectly clear. I have huge respect for wives and mothers, whether they work outside the home or not. It takes HUGE amounts of dedication, intelligence, creativity, and love to be a stay-at-home mom. I have seen in my own mother's life how painful the pressure from society to be more than 'just' a mom can be. My mom is one of the most driven, well read people I know and she never got a college degree; she has largely taught her self. And this is true of so so many women in my community and family. I also admire the many women who work and still manage, somehow, to raise their children and be involved in their children's lives.
However, just because I don't have either of those roles yet, it does not make me less of a person. I can not put my life on hold and just wait for prince charming to come rescue me. First of all, he is probably out there somewhere getting awesome. I have to keep up so I am ready for him :) Second, what if he never comes along? I have to be prepared for that and be able to take care of myself. Third, I don't need to be "rescued!" I am perfectly able to create an interesting, fulfilling life on my own. Certainly it would be beyond fantastic to have someone to share all that with, but again, just because I am flying solo it doesn't mean I am some how 'less than'. And that is totally how that woman's comments made me feel.
It just breaks my heart that people are so rude. And it breaks even more to know that sexism is alive and well, even among women themselves. We ALL need to stop judging each other. To quote President Uchtdorf, "Stop it!"
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Weekday Vegetarian
Most of you know that I stopped eating red meat about two-ish years ago. (Well, pretty much. About every three months or so I get an irresistible craving for a steak...and after I eat it, I become sick to my stomach. Whether the illness comes from my frustration at my lack of self control or the meat, I don't know.)
I have taken it to the next step. I have cut out meat all together...Monday through Friday. I decided to do this for a couple of reasons. One is that it is healthier for you. The Word of Wisdom (Doctrine and Covenants 89:18...it's part of the Mormon cannon of scripture) tells us to use meat sparingly. Then there is the whole thing about how the animals we eat are treated before we kill them. It is shameful! We are here to be stewards of the earth. That means taking care of ALL of it's inhabitants, even the animal kind. (Watch Food Inc., or Food Matters...you will be shocked.)
Anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point is that I have found some UH-MAY-ZING vegetarian recipes! Most of you know what a picky eater I am so that is really saying something :)
1) First, the Pastas: Creamy Garlic Pasta
2) Avocado Lemon Pasta- this is my favorite!
3) Vegetarian Enchiladas
4) This is one I made up: Chicken-less Chicken Noodle Soup. '
Substitute Tofu for chicken
One can chicken stock
Your choice of noodles
One carrot chopped
One stock of celery chopped
Season with:
Tarragon, Rosemary, Thyme, Salt and Pepper to taste
(To be totally honest, I haven't actually tried it out with the tofu yet, but the chicken kind is delicious, and it should be an easy substitution.)
5) Green Monster smoothies- great for breakfast.
One problem that I am having is it seems like most of the good recipes out there are pasta based. Does anyone have some good ones that aren't?
I have taken it to the next step. I have cut out meat all together...Monday through Friday. I decided to do this for a couple of reasons. One is that it is healthier for you. The Word of Wisdom (Doctrine and Covenants 89:18...it's part of the Mormon cannon of scripture) tells us to use meat sparingly. Then there is the whole thing about how the animals we eat are treated before we kill them. It is shameful! We are here to be stewards of the earth. That means taking care of ALL of it's inhabitants, even the animal kind. (Watch Food Inc., or Food Matters...you will be shocked.)
Anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point is that I have found some UH-MAY-ZING vegetarian recipes! Most of you know what a picky eater I am so that is really saying something :)
1) First, the Pastas: Creamy Garlic Pasta
2) Avocado Lemon Pasta- this is my favorite!
3) Vegetarian Enchiladas
4) This is one I made up: Chicken-less Chicken Noodle Soup. '
Substitute Tofu for chicken
One can chicken stock
Your choice of noodles
One carrot chopped
One stock of celery chopped
Season with:
Tarragon, Rosemary, Thyme, Salt and Pepper to taste
(To be totally honest, I haven't actually tried it out with the tofu yet, but the chicken kind is delicious, and it should be an easy substitution.)
5) Green Monster smoothies- great for breakfast.
One problem that I am having is it seems like most of the good recipes out there are pasta based. Does anyone have some good ones that aren't?
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Why Graduate School?
I get a lot of interesting reactions when I tell people that I am going to get a PhD in psychology. The most common are, "good, then you can fix all my problems/ diagnose me/ fix my kids." Well, developmental psychology is not that kind of psychology. The other common reaction goes something like,
Other Person: How long till you get your degree?
Me: Well it kind of depends on how long I take...probably around 6 years.
OP: What? Six years! That's a long time! Why would you do six more years of school?
(Which is sometimes spoken as if what they really mean is, "why aren't you getting real job?")
Well, allow me to explain.
Yes, it is more time in school. But grad school is different than undergrad in several ways. First of all, I am getting paid to go to school this time. (Actually, I'm getting paid to be a TA, but hopefully I will be on a grant soon and then I will get paid to go to school.) There are a few classes I have to take, but they are all applicable to my field. No generals! Besides, most of my time will be spent on research. Some of it will be other people's projects, especially at first. Eventually though it will be my own projects.
That leads us to the next step of the typical conversation.
OP: So what will you do when you're done?
Me: I'll probably end up at a university doing research and teaching.
OP: Oh, that's interesting!
(Roughly translated: "I don't know what that means, or what the point of it is.")
That is actually a really good point, and I'm not sure I have totally figured it out yet, either. But I do know that I like it a lot. It means asking questions and figuring out a way to answer them, then figuring out what the answers mean. You make and argument for why your question is important and what you think the answer will be, you justify your methods, you show what you found is statistically significant, and finally explain what you think it means and make a case for why what you found has added to the pool of human knowledge.
And that gets to the fundamental reason I want to go to grad school: to keep learning. My education has never been about getting a good job or getting through school...it has been about getting an education. At the end of my four years at the U, I knew I had learned a lot. But I had more questions than when I started, too. My goal is to answer some of those questions and ask new ones. That's the beauty of the whole thing. Answers lead to more questions, which leads to more answers, which leads to more questions! I love it! I am going to get to read and think and write and ask questions for a living!
Other Person: How long till you get your degree?
Me: Well it kind of depends on how long I take...probably around 6 years.
OP: What? Six years! That's a long time! Why would you do six more years of school?
(Which is sometimes spoken as if what they really mean is, "why aren't you getting real job?")
Well, allow me to explain.
Yes, it is more time in school. But grad school is different than undergrad in several ways. First of all, I am getting paid to go to school this time. (Actually, I'm getting paid to be a TA, but hopefully I will be on a grant soon and then I will get paid to go to school.) There are a few classes I have to take, but they are all applicable to my field. No generals! Besides, most of my time will be spent on research. Some of it will be other people's projects, especially at first. Eventually though it will be my own projects.
That leads us to the next step of the typical conversation.
OP: So what will you do when you're done?
Me: I'll probably end up at a university doing research and teaching.
OP: Oh, that's interesting!
(Roughly translated: "I don't know what that means, or what the point of it is.")
That is actually a really good point, and I'm not sure I have totally figured it out yet, either. But I do know that I like it a lot. It means asking questions and figuring out a way to answer them, then figuring out what the answers mean. You make and argument for why your question is important and what you think the answer will be, you justify your methods, you show what you found is statistically significant, and finally explain what you think it means and make a case for why what you found has added to the pool of human knowledge.
And that gets to the fundamental reason I want to go to grad school: to keep learning. My education has never been about getting a good job or getting through school...it has been about getting an education. At the end of my four years at the U, I knew I had learned a lot. But I had more questions than when I started, too. My goal is to answer some of those questions and ask new ones. That's the beauty of the whole thing. Answers lead to more questions, which leads to more answers, which leads to more questions! I love it! I am going to get to read and think and write and ask questions for a living!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Summer Songs 2012
It's time to announce this year's summer songs! I couldn't pick just one. Drum roll please....
Pearl and The Beard- Voice in My Throat
Sondre Lerche- To Be Surprised
Enjoy!
Pearl and The Beard- Voice in My Throat
Sondre Lerche- To Be Surprised
Enjoy!
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