I am going to break a promise I made a while ago to my blogging audience. I am going to be a negative for a little bit.
Do you ever get in to a rut or a funk?
I am in one right now. I feel restless and unsettled and unsure about a lot of things. I want a change. I want things to stay the same. I want to know what the heck it is that I want!
And I know what the answer is. The answer is to trust my instincts and God's guidance. Neither of those two things have ever led me astray. It is hard sometimes though.
A lot of this is coming out now just because I am exhausted and stressed. I have a lot to get done this week still and it's already Thursday.
Well, I just needed to get that off my chest. Tomorrow is a new day right? Goodnight, fellow bloggers!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
God is Authoritative
Some of you know (because I've told you way more than you wanted to hear *coughAndreacough* sorry...), my research project is about parenting styles and how that effects children's moral socialization. (In other words, how does they way parents interact with kids effect the way they perceive and internalize the difference between right and wrong?) I've been reading a lot about parenting styles. There are 3 basic ones:
Authoritarian: High demandingness, low warmth. These are the no-nonsense parents. What they say goes because they said so. No negotiation, no flexibility.
Permissive: Low demandingness, high warmth. These are the ones who cater to their child's every need. They have no expectations and no limits.
Authoritative: High demandingness, high warmth. These parents have standards of behavior, but they are realistic and developmentally appropriate for the child. They also explain and give reasons for the rules. They are willing to negotiate on less important things, like what their kids wear or stuff like that.
I bet you can guess which one has the most positive outcomes for kids. Children of Authoritative parents a usually the most obedient, have fewer behavior problems out side of the home, are independent, creative, and self-reliant. They are also happier, have better relationships with their parents, and view their parents in a more positive light.
God is Authoritative and I will tell you why. He has clear expectations for how we should behave. They are the commandments. They all have reasons behind them, which are explained to us through the Prophets, the scriptures, and personal revelation. He wants us to learn the rules and principles behind His law so that one day we can be like Him. He is sensitive to where we are in our spiritual development and never gives us tasks that are beyond our capabilities; they are always "developmentally appropriate." His expectations are realistic: do the best that you can and keep trying. He even provided us with a Savior so that when we don't meet His standards (notice I said when not if...), it is ok. We can repent. He is warm and responsive to our needs. His love is absolutely unconditionally and I for one have been blessed by his warmth infinitely more than I deserve.
It is amazing how everything, everything, comes back to the gospel of Jesus Christ. This is why I get so frustrated with people who see faith and science as mutually exclusive: I've been reading scientific studies that totally support my faith that God is the Perfect Parent. Science has strengthened my faith.
I am so glad that I know what I know and have the examples that I have. I love my Heavenly Father so much!
Anyway, I don't know if that made any sense. I had a light bulb moment with this and wanted to share it with you all :)
Authoritarian: High demandingness, low warmth. These are the no-nonsense parents. What they say goes because they said so. No negotiation, no flexibility.
Permissive: Low demandingness, high warmth. These are the ones who cater to their child's every need. They have no expectations and no limits.
Authoritative: High demandingness, high warmth. These parents have standards of behavior, but they are realistic and developmentally appropriate for the child. They also explain and give reasons for the rules. They are willing to negotiate on less important things, like what their kids wear or stuff like that.
I bet you can guess which one has the most positive outcomes for kids. Children of Authoritative parents a usually the most obedient, have fewer behavior problems out side of the home, are independent, creative, and self-reliant. They are also happier, have better relationships with their parents, and view their parents in a more positive light.
God is Authoritative and I will tell you why. He has clear expectations for how we should behave. They are the commandments. They all have reasons behind them, which are explained to us through the Prophets, the scriptures, and personal revelation. He wants us to learn the rules and principles behind His law so that one day we can be like Him. He is sensitive to where we are in our spiritual development and never gives us tasks that are beyond our capabilities; they are always "developmentally appropriate." His expectations are realistic: do the best that you can and keep trying. He even provided us with a Savior so that when we don't meet His standards (notice I said when not if...), it is ok. We can repent. He is warm and responsive to our needs. His love is absolutely unconditionally and I for one have been blessed by his warmth infinitely more than I deserve.
It is amazing how everything, everything, comes back to the gospel of Jesus Christ. This is why I get so frustrated with people who see faith and science as mutually exclusive: I've been reading scientific studies that totally support my faith that God is the Perfect Parent. Science has strengthened my faith.
I am so glad that I know what I know and have the examples that I have. I love my Heavenly Father so much!
Anyway, I don't know if that made any sense. I had a light bulb moment with this and wanted to share it with you all :)
Friday, January 28, 2011
Women's Conference
Be prepared for a shock;
I, me, miss nobody-college-student, have been asked to teach a class at BYU Women's Conference. Actually, it's a panel of me and two other college students. They asked us to talk about passing on the legacy of Relief Society. Which is ironic since I have never really gone to relief society.
intimidating,
overwhelming,
crazy,
wonderful,
exciting,
terrifying,
uplifting...
Ya, that pretty much covers it I think.
They opened by telling us about the conference:
Each presenters name is approved by the board of trustees of BYU. Which is made up of the First Presidency, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Presidency of the First Quorum of the Seventy, and the General Primary, Relief Society, and Young Women's Presidents.
Over 14,000 women attended last year conference.
Some presentations are published in the Church News, some are broadcast on BYU-TV, and some are streamed online.
Intimidated yet? I was!
The second councilor in the General Relief Society Presidency (I can't think of her name now, but she is the cute smile-y one...) spoke and it made me feel a lot better. She said we were all there for a reason and not to get overwhelmed. Everyone has a voice. After all, the theme of the conference is Alma 37:6-7 "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." (I am for sure a "small and simple thing"!! And that is ok.)
I also felt really out of place. I went to Provo straight from school and didn't even think to wear a dress.
Everyone else did though.
And I thought I was probably the youngest person there by at least a decade.
Then I met the other girls on my panel: Kelli and Kendra. They both go to BYU and are super cute! We are all the same age and at about the same place in our college careers. I think we are going to be really good friends.
So far the experience has been full of conflicting emotions for me, but I am sure it will turn out fine. I'm really excited to learn and prepare for it. And I'm grateful for the opportunity.
And now I have to give a big shout out to Kelly Haight for introducing me to the BYU Creamery. Um, pretty sure that is some of the best ice cream I've ever had. Better than that, though was seeing Kelly! I haven't seen her in so long and had so much fun hanging out with her again!!! Please, let's do it again soon, ok Kelly?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Morbid
I was driving home last night after my class (yes, I have a night class from 7 - 10 pm, and yes, I am craaazy) and it was super foggy. And I really enjoyed it! I told my mom that I thought fog was super awesome and she, to my surprise, completely disagreed. She said it's totally gloomy and depressing. This got my little brain thinking... What other things that I find comforting or cool to other people see as drab or depressing? Here are the top ten that I came up with:
1) The color brown; it is my favorite color. To me, it is soft and home-y and comforting. It reminds me of cookies and bread, and all that other good stuff your mom makes. My brothers say it reminds them of poop...
2) Fog; obviously, since that is what started this whole thought process. It makes everything seem wrapped up and cozy. It softens the edges and makes everything feel fuzzy.
3) Cemeteries; yes, the are quiet. Yes they are a little spooky. But they are also so peaceful. I especially love the ones that have lots of trees and quite places to sit and think.
4) Following along with the whole death theme, hymns that are usually thought of as "funeral songs" are some of my favorites. Nearer My God to Thee, Rock of Ages, Each Life that Touches Ours For Good: all funeral songs, all super pretty. And the lyrics are so comforting.
5) The book A Tale of Two Cities; Sure, it is all about death and betrayal and bloody revolutions. But it is also about true love and redemption. The fact that Sydney Carton dies at the end is what makes it worth reading in my opinion.
6) Mozart's Requiem.... And Beethoven's Requiem; again, they are Mass for dead people, but they are also beautiful.
7) Caves; They make my mom a claustrophobic mess, but I like feeling enclosed. It makes me feel safe. Plus the are all dark and warm and quiet...aah.
8) Being alone; I love having my own space and doing my own thing. It is possible to be alone and not feel lonely.
9) Driving at night; it is fun and you don't have as many other people on the road to worry about.
10) Being on campus when no one else is around (i.e. on Saturdays, holidays, early in the morning, or late at night.); it is easier to park, get around, focus, and get stuff done. You don't have to worry about getting run over by a skateboard or a bike. And it's really peaceful.
1) The color brown; it is my favorite color. To me, it is soft and home-y and comforting. It reminds me of cookies and bread, and all that other good stuff your mom makes. My brothers say it reminds them of poop...
2) Fog; obviously, since that is what started this whole thought process. It makes everything seem wrapped up and cozy. It softens the edges and makes everything feel fuzzy.
3) Cemeteries; yes, the are quiet. Yes they are a little spooky. But they are also so peaceful. I especially love the ones that have lots of trees and quite places to sit and think.
4) Following along with the whole death theme, hymns that are usually thought of as "funeral songs" are some of my favorites. Nearer My God to Thee, Rock of Ages, Each Life that Touches Ours For Good: all funeral songs, all super pretty. And the lyrics are so comforting.
5) The book A Tale of Two Cities; Sure, it is all about death and betrayal and bloody revolutions. But it is also about true love and redemption. The fact that Sydney Carton dies at the end is what makes it worth reading in my opinion.
6) Mozart's Requiem.... And Beethoven's Requiem; again, they are Mass for dead people, but they are also beautiful.
7) Caves; They make my mom a claustrophobic mess, but I like feeling enclosed. It makes me feel safe. Plus the are all dark and warm and quiet...aah.
8) Being alone; I love having my own space and doing my own thing. It is possible to be alone and not feel lonely.
9) Driving at night; it is fun and you don't have as many other people on the road to worry about.
10) Being on campus when no one else is around (i.e. on Saturdays, holidays, early in the morning, or late at night.); it is easier to park, get around, focus, and get stuff done. You don't have to worry about getting run over by a skateboard or a bike. And it's really peaceful.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Rant
As the title may suggest, I'm about to go off on a rant, so feel free to stop reading.
I love being involved in Psychology and being a Human Development major. These two diciplines totally play to my strengths and are super interesting. They are really applicable to life in general...for everybody.
What I do NOT love about them is the reactions they elicit from people when you tell them what you are doing.
Typical reactions when people find out I am a Human Development and Family Studies major are:
a) Oh, so your going for your mom/Mrs. degree: No. I'm not. I am a social scientist who happens to be interested in families and thinks they are important.
b) So...what are you going to do with that when you graduate?: Lots of things! I could be a teacher, I could be a social worker, I could teach parent/family skills classes for the state, I could go to grad school, I could work for the dept of ed., ...the list goes on.
When people find out I am going in to psychology they usually say:
a) Oh, that is so interesting, I love watching people: That is not psychology...that is people watching and every one does that. Psychology is a science that people get highly specialized training in for YEARS in order to call themselves a psychologist.
b) Oh that is so interesting, You can diagnose me!: First of all, I am not going to be that kind of psychologist (there are more jobs in the field than just clinicians and councilors you know). Second of all, I don't want to diagnose you. I don't want to know your problems. If I did, I would be going in to clinical psych. Third of all, have nothing to diagnose; you are probably normal. Most people are...that's why it is called normal.
c) I love psychology, that was my favorite class in college.: There is a lot more to psychology than you learn in your intro class. Don't get me wrong, psych 1010 is a great class, and I highly recomend it to anyone and everyone. But it barely even scratches the surface of what psychology is.
I understand, really I do. Psychology IS super interesting. That's one reason I like it so much. And it IS super applicable to everyone. And it isn't completly obvious what a HDFS degree will do for someone when they graduate.
But please, please, PLEASE, think these things through before you talk!
Thank you, that's all :)
I love being involved in Psychology and being a Human Development major. These two diciplines totally play to my strengths and are super interesting. They are really applicable to life in general...for everybody.
What I do NOT love about them is the reactions they elicit from people when you tell them what you are doing.
Typical reactions when people find out I am a Human Development and Family Studies major are:
a) Oh, so your going for your mom/Mrs. degree: No. I'm not. I am a social scientist who happens to be interested in families and thinks they are important.
b) So...what are you going to do with that when you graduate?: Lots of things! I could be a teacher, I could be a social worker, I could teach parent/family skills classes for the state, I could go to grad school, I could work for the dept of ed., ...the list goes on.
When people find out I am going in to psychology they usually say:
a) Oh, that is so interesting, I love watching people: That is not psychology...that is people watching and every one does that. Psychology is a science that people get highly specialized training in for YEARS in order to call themselves a psychologist.
b) Oh that is so interesting, You can diagnose me!: First of all, I am not going to be that kind of psychologist (there are more jobs in the field than just clinicians and councilors you know). Second of all, I don't want to diagnose you. I don't want to know your problems. If I did, I would be going in to clinical psych. Third of all, have nothing to diagnose; you are probably normal. Most people are...that's why it is called normal.
c) I love psychology, that was my favorite class in college.: There is a lot more to psychology than you learn in your intro class. Don't get me wrong, psych 1010 is a great class, and I highly recomend it to anyone and everyone. But it barely even scratches the surface of what psychology is.
I understand, really I do. Psychology IS super interesting. That's one reason I like it so much. And it IS super applicable to everyone. And it isn't completly obvious what a HDFS degree will do for someone when they graduate.
But please, please, PLEASE, think these things through before you talk!
Thank you, that's all :)
Friday, January 7, 2011
New Years Resolution
So, two posts in one week. That is a little crazy for me! Allow me to explain:
One of my new year's resolutions is to post 52 times on this blog before next January. That is one post per week. But I know that next week is going to be CRAZY so I am posting next week's this week.
May I just say how very excited I am to go back to school??? That, my friends, is the subject of today's Top 10 List!
1) I love being home and being lazy...but only for about a week at a time. It drives me nuts not to be doing something!
2) This semester I am taking some awesome classes too: personality theory, health psychology, fatherhood, and theories of human development. LOVE it!
3) I am getting started on my very own research project!
4) I get to work more with Dr. Wainryb, who is awesome, and Stacia the new grad student, who is also super fun.
5) I only go to class 3 days a week (Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday...4 day weekend every week!)
6) I'm taking a GRE prep class, which is not exciting in and of itself, but it means I am that much closer to GRAD SCHOOL!
7) I still get to see Holly every week...Thank you Skype :)
8) Cory and I will still get to go on our weekly dinners.
9) After this semester I will only have 2 more semesters till I graduate.
10) I do NOT have a class at 7:30 am!
One of my new year's resolutions is to post 52 times on this blog before next January. That is one post per week. But I know that next week is going to be CRAZY so I am posting next week's this week.
May I just say how very excited I am to go back to school??? That, my friends, is the subject of today's Top 10 List!
1) I love being home and being lazy...but only for about a week at a time. It drives me nuts not to be doing something!
2) This semester I am taking some awesome classes too: personality theory, health psychology, fatherhood, and theories of human development. LOVE it!
3) I am getting started on my very own research project!
4) I get to work more with Dr. Wainryb, who is awesome, and Stacia the new grad student, who is also super fun.
5) I only go to class 3 days a week (Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday...4 day weekend every week!)
6) I'm taking a GRE prep class, which is not exciting in and of itself, but it means I am that much closer to GRAD SCHOOL!
7) I still get to see Holly every week...Thank you Skype :)
8) Cory and I will still get to go on our weekly dinners.
9) After this semester I will only have 2 more semesters till I graduate.
10) I do NOT have a class at 7:30 am!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Scuba!
Ok, just a warning. There are some pictures coming that look pretty gross.
For Christmas I got the gift of scuba diving lessons! It is somthing I've always wanted to try; I love the water, so why not learn how to breathe under it? I figured it would also give me an excuse to take exotic vacations.
I have pretty much finished my certifications. I finished all my class work and pool practice dives. All I have left is two open water dives. We are going to the Crater at the Homestead in Heber in a few weeks to do them and I can hardly wait!
Here is where the pictures come in. On one of my practice dives, I got my first diving injury! I forgot to equalize the pressure inside my mask, so it sealed too tightly onto my face. The pressure made some of the blood vessels in my eye burst. My dive instructures call it an eye hicky.
For Christmas I got the gift of scuba diving lessons! It is somthing I've always wanted to try; I love the water, so why not learn how to breathe under it? I figured it would also give me an excuse to take exotic vacations.
I have pretty much finished my certifications. I finished all my class work and pool practice dives. All I have left is two open water dives. We are going to the Crater at the Homestead in Heber in a few weeks to do them and I can hardly wait!
Here is where the pictures come in. On one of my practice dives, I got my first diving injury! I forgot to equalize the pressure inside my mask, so it sealed too tightly onto my face. The pressure made some of the blood vessels in my eye burst. My dive instructures call it an eye hicky.
It actually looks better than it did yesterday...it was almost purple. The good news is, it doesn't hurt! It just itches a little. The bad news is that it will probably take a week or two to look normal again. I've been wearing sunglasses as much as possible! Wade, however, seems to think it is the awesomest thing ever. He says he is totally jealous and wishes he could get a cool injury like that too :) Can you tell he is an 18 year old boy?
Anyway, that is how I spent my first week of 2011! I hope you all had as good a time as I did!
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