Mother's day is coming up. Because I'm a super nerd, I did a little research in to the origins of how it became a thing we all celebrate. Anna Jarvis was a social activist and business woman in the early 1900s. She started celebrating Mother's Day with her church after her own mother died. Jarvis pushed for Mother's Day to become an official holiday and succeeded in 1914 when Woodrow Wilson proclaimed it a national holiday. Toward the end of her life, she became frustrated with the commercialization and trivialization of the day and fought against, among other things, mother's day cards. She said, "A printed card means nothing except that you are too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world. And candy! You take a box to Mother—and then eat most of it yourself. A pretty sentiment." So the moral of that story is to be thoughtful about actually honoring your mother(s) on Mother's Day.

But there was another woman who pushed for a different kind of Mother's Day. In 1870, Julia Ward Howe, a well know abolitionist, social activist, suffragette and poet (who happened to write the Battle Hymn of the Republic) wrote what would become known as The Mother's Day for Peace Proclamation:

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts,
whether our baptism be that of water or of tears!

Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by
irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking
with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be
taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach
them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says “Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance
of justice.”Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons
of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a
great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women,
to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the
means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each
bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a
general congress of women without limit of nationality may be
appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at
the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the
alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement
of international questions, the great and general interests of
peace.

What a great reminder that we are all human, and all part of a family. Hopefully remembering that can help us all treat each other better. We have to start treating each other better on a personal AND social level. The injustice and systematic lack of compassion in so many of our social institutions sometimes makes me want to cry tears of sorrow and frustration. If men and women were allowed to carry 'feminine' traits, like compassion, empathy, sensitivity, and intuition, in to the public spheres of politics and diplomacy what kind of world would we live in? I'd like to think a much better, much more peaceful one.

Summer Song - 2014 Edition

Classes are over, which means it's time once again to announce this years Summer Song. For all of you new readers, one of my dear friends from college (looking at you Ali!) got me started picking a summer  song to use as a way to celebrate the warm weather and being outside.

I had a really hard time picking this year because, let's be honest, grad school has separated me from all things pop culture. I just don't have time to keep up with everything! But after much consideration this year's selection is *drum roll please*…..

Shake - The Head and the Heart

I owe a big shout out to my friend Kiana for introducing me to this band in college. They are one of my favorites!

Past Summer Songs:
2009 - Bruises (Chairlift)
2010 - Put Your Records On (Corinne Bailey Rae)
2011 - To Be Surprised (Sondre Lerche)
2012 - Voice in My Throat (Pearl and the Beard)
2013 - Suntan (String Cheese Incident)
           Ne Me Quitte Pas/Don't Leave Me (Regina Spektor)

Documentaries

I have been on kind of a documentary kick the last few weeks. Watch movies and learn new things? Sign me up for that; those are my two favorite things! Here is a list of the top 10 things I've learned from the documentaries I've been watching:

10: Sing Your Song - Harry Belafonte is the classiest dude ever.

9: Blackfish - SeaWorld is the most awful place ever.

8: The World Before Her - Follows young women in India who are on two very different paths: a beauty pageant and a Hindu extremist training camp. Basic take home message: Patriarchy is bad for everyone.

7: Blue Planet - The ocean is amazing. But I'm totally biased; whales and sharks are my special interest after all.

6: Half the Sky - Most of my problems are 1st world problems and sexism exists in violent forms all over the world.

5: Crazy Love - People are insane. They become more insane when they are in love. They are even more insane than that when they are actually crazy AND in love.

4: The Planets - We are sooooo small.

3: Absent - full disclosure: I never actually finished this one. But I learned that people can make a whole documentary out of bunk science and bizarre beliefs…so listen really carefully to what people are telling you and take it with a grain of salt.

2: No Place on Earth: Sometimes people are crazy (see #5), but they can also be amazingly resilient and strong.

1: The Loving Story: Racism is the worst, and it hasn't been that long since it was written in to our laws. I forget sometimes how close we are to it.

Mentorship

(Note: this post turned out very differently than I originally intended for it to. During the process of writing it, I learned that one of my favorite people passed away. Beverly Brehl was one of my professors in college. I ended up taking 3 courses from her, and she is the one who encouraged me to think about getting in to research. For a quiet student who was intimidated by everyone and everything, it really meant a lot; with out Bev's encouragement and help, chances are I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now. She was everyone's favorite teacher. She went out of her way to help students, but held us to a very high standard. Watching her teach, you could tell she was so smart and so passionate about what she did. Even after I came to graduate school she emailed back and forth with me, just to check in. Bev was also just cool. She showed me how to knit. She had these socks that she made for herself with skulls on them. Up until she started getting really sick, she would send me little encouraging emails fairly regularly. I was a peripheral character in her life, but she was a hugely influential part of mine. So Beverly, this one's for you!)

Mentoring is something that I feel very strongly about, I think mostly because I've had great mentors my whole life. I've been really lucky and I am very grateful for all of them. I mean, what is the point of learning stuff, and more importantly learning how to learn stuff, if we're not going to share that with others?

Someone once asked me if I felt weird going in to academia because it is a selfish profession…you sit in your ivory tower all day and think about what you want to think about, and try and find support for your own ideas. I'm sure there is a reason that stereotype exists, and in the interest of full disclosure I have met some academics who are like that. But I know more who aren't, and the contrast makes it even more clear to me that to be a good academic and a good person, it is so important to be generous: generous with your time, your expertise, your thinking. Through mentoring graduate students and teaching undergraduates, (good) academics pass on their expertise, but they also listen and learn from them. (My advisor is great at that.) So no, I don't feel weird about being an academic because I don't think it is a selfish profession. I can turn in to that if you let it, but that's true of any thing. In fact, one common thread I've noticed running through the academy is the quest for understanding. I think trying to understand your fellow humans (through whatever method you choose) is pretty cool.

More important than academic mentoring is life mentoring. That sounds super cheesy. What I mean is that it's important to have people who can support and guide you in the right direction. Life is hard when you've never done it before, so…all the time. And while no two people's experiences are identical, it is helpful to have a sounding board who has had similar experiences, as well as the distance to offer a clearer perspective. I don't know about you, but I make the worst decisions in the heat of the moment. I've been lucky to have so many strong people there to talk me down from the ledge. My aunts, youth group leaders, teachers, club advisors, coaches, etc., have all given me the tools and the building materials I need to be where I am now.

Side note: ultimately we are all connected, and can learn from everyone we meet. And part of a successful mentor-mentoree relationship is bidirectionality. What I mean is that we all should be open to and learn from each other…it's a two way street.

Mentoring is also kind of a pay-it-forward deal. I just hope that one day I can do for someone what so many others have done for me. And to all those out there who have mentored me, thank you!

Therapy

I know, I've not been keeping up on my blogging. I've had a lot of stuff going on.

I feel like today's post is really important, though, and something I really want to talk about:

THERAPY

as in going to see a psychologist.

I hear a lot of people say they are afraid of it, or that they don't see the value in talking about your problems, or that they just don't have the time. There are a lot of  reasons NOT to go to therapy. As someone who fought going for a long time, believe me, I've been through them all. On the other hand, as a psychologist and as someone who has become a believer in the process I can tell you in most cases it's worth it.

One of the tricks is to find a therapist and a style of practice that works for you. Talking things through on a couch is not the only way, nor is it the best way for every one. The cliche of lying on a couch while a doctor takes notes usually refers to psychoanalysis. There is also humanistic therapy, cognitive behavior therapy (especially good for phobias), relational therapy, mindfulness training…and the list goes on. Finding a type that feels comfortable and is suited to your specific concerns is really important. Another thing to remember is that therapists are people too. Because of that, each has their own personality and style that they bring into sessions. Finding a person you can relate to, whose style complements your needs is a big part of finding success in therapy. Shop around! When I first moved to Rochester I went to probably 5 different people and then gave up for about 9 months. A few weeks ago I started looking again and found someone I really like! It might take a while, but stick with it.

I also will say that, even with a good therapist and the right type, therapy is really uncomfortable sometimes (ok, a lot of the time). And it's a lot of work. It can feel like you take two steps forward and five steps back. But again, you have to stick with it! It's a process, the payoffs from which are totally worth it.

It makes me sort of sad that there is so much stigma around mental health issues. Seeing a therapist does not make you weak. It does not make you crazy. It does not mean you are whiney. The complete opposite is true: facing your emotions and dealing with them, really dealing with them instead of pushing them away, takes a lot of strength. Being vulnerable takes a lot of courage.

I just started going back, and I've got a lot of work to do to get through my stuff (I have a lot of stuff…). It's really hard and painfully slow for me to feel like I can talk about things and admit that I'm not ok sometimes; today's session was exhausting but I think it will be worth it. If any of you are on the fence about starting therapy DO IT!

Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,

Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,

Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)

Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,

Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,

Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,

The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

                                       Answer.

That you are here—that life exists and identity,

That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.

~Anais Nin

Aspiring Mormon Women

You should read this. (I mean the link…well, and this blog, too…)

I relate to it a lot. It is weird to hear your church leaders encourage learning, and working to better the world and yourself on one hand, and on the other have people from your religious community questioning your commitment to faith because education.

Once I had a lady, an almost complete stranger, tell me I would never get married if I got my PhD because, "no self respecting LDS man would want to marry someone with more education than him."

I've had multiple people (LDS and not) tell me that science and faith are incongruent, and that eventually I'd have to give one up.

A dude - RM, sunday school teacher - stopped dating me because he "wasn't comfortable with my ambition."

People at church act scandalized when I say I probably won't change my last name if I get married. I just make it worse when I try and explain that I intend on keeping my last name for career related reasons.

Others outside the church have commented about how surprised they were that such a rational person could belong to such an archaic faith.

It is hurtful that people feel like they can judge my spirituality OR my 'smartness' based on outside perceptions of what I'm choosing to do with my life (religiously or academically). It speaks to a larger problem that is pretty wide spread - we need less judging and more seeking for understanding. We need less 'I know what's best for you' and more 'I trust you to make the best choices for you'.

That being said, a lot of people are very supportive and excited with me about my work. And I need to be better at letting them. Like the woman who wrote the blog in that link, I too often am silent or downplay what I'm doing.

For those of you interested, here is a website that offers support/community/advice to women in the LDS church who aspire in many different ways: http://aspiringmormonwomen.org

Sprinting

You may be wondering why all of these blog posts are coming out now. Well, I'll tell you. I'm bored. I've been so insanely busy the last two or three weeks that now, when I'm at a normal level of activity, it feels like I'm a lazy slob. I also have the constant nagging thought that there is something I'm forgetting to do. That, plus the fact that I have been proctoring exams like crazy (sitting in a quiet room with out a lot of things to do), means blogging. I'm not going to reach my 52 posts a year goal, but that's ok.

Back to what I was saying earlier about being bored…I hate that. I had been staying up till well past midnight; now I can't fall asleep till 1 am, or sleep past 7 am. I was constantly on the go, and now I can't sit still. It always takes me a few weeks to get back to normal and unwind. And by that time, school is starting to get going again. My problem, I think, is that I want it NOW. I want to be good at everything now, I want to be done with tasks as soon as I get them, and I want to have everything figured out. Sadly for me and my over-developed sense of perfectionism, that is not ow the world and especially the academic world works.

Things take time. Thinking takes time. Figuring stuff out is a life-long process. The idea that I can keep learning new things and keep getting better really appeals to me. I love the fact that my JOB is to learn new things. But there is also that part of me that likes knowing the answers. It's an odd juxtaposition of traits to have, and a weird space to inhabit sometimes, this gap between wanting to know everything and enjoying the process of learning.

I guess the take home message of all this rambling is that this - grad school, life, the quest to become a better person, whatever 'this' is for you - is a marathon, not a sprint. If we spend our time rushing to 'finish', we will burn out like a flash in a pan. We have to keep moving, certainly, but at a pace that is sustainable. That pace changes depending on life circumstances and individual characteristics. But finding equilibrium is so important. And it's something that I need to get better at.

That said, there are times when life requires you to sprint, and that's ok too. It takes a specific set of skills to do it well: focus, grit, agility and adaptability, and precision. It's easy when you are really busy for short periods of time to forget things and let details slip (as I and my students know…poor kids). The least little hiccough or bump in the road can derail your whole plan (how is that for mixing metaphors: bodily functions, roads and trains…win). The trick is to not let that be your whole life. Deal with those times when they come but let them go when they are over. Again…still working on this myself.

So, does anyone have any tips/tricks/suggestions about how you shift gears from sprinting to marathon style jogging? I could sure use some...

Rochester Part 3: the first 18 months

It's been over a year since I moved to Rochester. Crazy! It is starting to feel not new any more. I haven't used my gps in weeks!
Here is a little of what I've been up to the last 18 months. Sorry, they're totally out of order…:

 I've spent the last 2 Thanksgivings with my dear friend Allegra and her family. This is us at the Turkey Trot 5K this last Thanksgiving. My family in Utah does one every year, so it was nice to be doing the same thing they were, even if I wasn't doing it with them. This pic right to left is Allegra's sister Sara, Allegra, our friend Katrina (aka K-Dur) and me.

 The grad students in my department have a kickball team that I play on. It's really fun, a good excuse to hang out, and a chance to get some fresh air. I think this picture is from spring season? We are 1-1 for Winter so far!

 This is me, Brooke, Louisa, and Laura at Brooke's wedding this summer. It was a lot of fun! These three are the clinical psych students in my cohort.

 This is Andy, Michael, and Joseph at the Renaissance fair. I tagged along, but was not about to eat one of those disgusting turkey legs. We found out later that they are actually most likely Emu meat…sick.

 Me and my roommates on Halloween. We are all dedicated candy crushers and decided to honor that in our costumes.

 Casa Faraday all decorated for Christmas! So festive! I made the stockings by the way…they turned out pretty cute if I do say so myself…

 This is the covered porch on our house. I love it so much! Obviously this was during the summer. Right now it's like 18 degrees and snowing out.

 Me and Baby Devon! He's my office-mate Wendy's little one, and the most perfect baby ever. I get to hang with him when Wendy has meetings on campus sometimes, which I love!

This is my lab group. (From right to left, me, Ge, Marc, Wendy and our advisor Judi. Just Courtney is missing…where are you girl?) Hard at work! Or are we? You'll never know what's on that computer screen…

I'm so happy that I'm feeling settled, and have made such great friends, and am so grateful to all the wonderful people in my life.

Take criticism seriously, but not personally. If there is truth or merit in the criticism, try to learn from it. Otherwise, let it roll right off you.

Hillary Clinton

My Brothers

I am smack in the middle of two brothers; my older brother is three years older than me, my younger brother is 3 years younger, and our birthdays fall within less than a month of each other. Wade's birthday was last Saturday, and Cory's is coming up on Sunday.

Being the only girl was not something I loved. When we were kids, and I would see one of those Christian Children's Fund commercials (sponsor a child for only 5 cents a day!) I would beg my mom to buy me a sister. I thought that they actually sent you a kid. It was only 5 cents a day!

I was heart broken when my parents told me the baby in my mom's belly was a boy. One of my earliest memories is arguing with Mom and Dad about what to call him. I made a solid case in favor of calling the baby Annie; obviously if you gave a baby a girl's name it would be a girl and I was dying for a curly red-headded sister who could sing and dance. I also remember crying on the way to the hospital because I still didn't understand why anyone would want ANOTHER boy.

But then, as I got older, I really grew to appreciate the boys. They looked out for me, stood up for me, and let me hang out with them even if it wasn't cool. As a nerdy child, I really appreciated having built in friends. They would even play Barbies with me...as long as it included Barbie and her friends going 'bungie jumping' off the stair case, which of course resulted in gruesome life-threatening injuries.

Cory taught me multiplication tables when I was in kindergarten, and Wade would come to my tea parties even after I had been mean to him.

I was pretty timid as a kid, but they pushed me to be more adventurous. We lived in a new development, so early on there was a lot of empty space to wander. We also used to go camping with my Grannie a lot. By making me go exploring with them they forced me to recognize that I could do whatever. Without even being aware of it they taught me confidence. They also taught me to trust my own judgment: if I think that ledge looks unstable, I probably shouldn't climb on it...unfortunately that is one lesson I learned the hard way.

And now they are some of my best friends. Wade is kind and goofy, and so good at getting to know new people. Cory is thoughtful, considerate, and one of the hardest working people I know. No one can make me laugh like them (two words: kidney. punch.), no one can put me in my place like them when I need it, and no one is better at putting things in perspective. They are both good men, the best I know.

So Happy Birthday Wade! Happy Birthday Cory!

Where Words Fail, Music Speaks

I really need to step up my blog game guys.  I'm so far behind my blog quota!

To make it up to you, here is a new top 10. These are ten songs that get me in the heart every time. Some are sad, some are heartwarming. I love them all.

10. Don't Think Twice - Bob Dylan
I love Bob Dylan. And this song, for some reason, always makes me feel so lonely. There's something sad about people growing apart, and something even more sad when those involved try to pretend they don't care.

9. Take it All - Adele
Been there.

8. Swimming - Pearl and the Beard
This song got me through some stuff. It's ok to be sad. And it's ok to want things to be different. Eventually, they will be.

7. Jolene - The Staves (Ray Lamontagne cover)
I mean just listen to the lyrics. It's tragic.

6. Peace Like a River - University of Utah Singers
I love love love this arrangement (and that I can see my friends singing it).

5. We Shall Overcome - Joan Baez
It's a bit literal, but that's ok.  Actually, I really just like Joan Baez. And folk music. And ballads...sometimes I feel like I missed my decade.  I totally could have been a civil-rights-peace-activist-folk-singer in the 60's.

4. Traumerei - Robert Schumann (performed by Vladimir Horowitz)
I don't know what it is about this song, but I love it a lot. It always calms me down. It was also the first song that I remember having a strong emotional reaction to.

3. Love is Christmas - Sara Bareilles
I know, I know, super cheesy. It's just that I live far away from home. Some of my best childhood memories are from Christmases I spent with my family. And the combination of those two things means that this song makes me really nostalgic and homesick.

2. Love to Me - Matthew Morrison (from The Light in the Piazza)
So pretty.  This whole show is just gorgeous. (Lindsay, amiright?)

1. Rivers and Roads - The Head and the Heart
This is my go to song when I've had a particularly hard day.

Honorable Mention: Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths

There are so many more songs that provoke strong emotional reactions for me. I could go on and on. These are just the ones that are particularly salient for me right now. What are some of your favorite heart wrenching songs?

Circles

We take turns, then, don’t we?  When you are caught on any plains where love is not, I will gather what I have and bring what I can.  And when I have used up all my love and am stranded in the cold, I will watch for you to appear with fresh supplies.  That way we can make it, I think, all of us.  We can be sufficiently creative and sufficiently kind that we will draw circle upon circle upon circle, bringing each other in, leaving no one out, joining, linking, enlarging, until the pattern of the whole human family, seen through the Eye of God, is complete. 

~Carol Lynn Pearson

I'm Tired

Look, I try really hard to be positive on this blog.  I try to tell you all the stuff I am up to, and share inspiring things I find.  98% of the time, that really is authentically me.  I am so blessed.  I'm doing what I love, supported by a great family, and surrounded by truly remarkable friends.

But, honestly, that is not me today.

Do you ever have days when you are just done?  I am today.

I am tired.
I'm tired of being judged.
I'm tired of having to be constantly on my guard because some of my most deeply held beliefs are offensive to some of the people closest to me.
I'm tired of watching others denigrate and dismiss my sincere questions and concerns.
I'm frustrated that people are so judgmental and unwilling to put themselves in someone else's shoes.
And I'm tired of feeling frustrated.
I'm tired of trying so hard to be thoughtful and conscientious in my opinions and beliefs, when so many others just shoot from the hip and don't care think before they speak.  Especially when there is no right or wrong answer.
I'm tired of people assuming that because I am 'nice,' I am weak.
I'm tired of people acting like they know stuff when really they have no freaking idea what they are talking about...pride, man, it's the worst.
I'm sick and tired of other people telling me how I should feel and think.

It bums me out that I feel guilty about letting people know how I feel, and I almost didn't post this.

I know that tomorrow or next week things will not seem so bleak and I will have some of my strength back, but for now I'm just going to let myself be tired.  Time to curl up with some hot chocolate!

Update

I was going through some recent posts and noticed a lot of them are about what I've been thinking, or have been quotes that I found that I love.  It's been a while, though, since I wrote anything about what I am actually doing.

Here is what my typical Tuesday looks like:

7:00 am - get up and get ready for the day
8:30~ish - leave for school so I can get to the office by
9:00 - in my office doing work
11:00-1:30 - Family Processes seminar with Patrick Davies; really good class
2:00-3:15 - TA social and emotional development for Laura Wray-Lake; love it
3:30-anywhere between 5 and 8 - in my office doing work/reading
I try to get home by 6:30 for dinner and TV with the roomies.  Today I'm staying a little later to help some students and Skype with some people about a research project we're working on.  It's nice to have roommates because I am motivated to get home at a reasonable hour.  Last year I would lose track of time and stay at my office way later than I ever meant to.
In bed by 10:30 or 11:00

Not very exciting is it?  But I like it.

"Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be"

~Clementine Paddleford

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

In honor of the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington.  We've come a long way, but we have a long way still to go.

(Also, check this out...it's pretty interesting: Women of the civil rights movement)

Thank you, random stranger

A friend of mine recently posted a link to this blog on my Facebook (thanks Marne!) and it triggered a memory of something that I had totally forgotten.

When I was 12? 13? I was a junior lifeguard at the pool by my house.  A few of us were sitting outside the break room in our swimming suits one day, all girls, and someone started in on her body.  It grew, and soon everyone was talking about how ugly/fat/etc. they were.  I had never heard people talk like that before (not peers any way).  It was just like that scene from Mean Girls when all the girls are dissing specific body parts they wish they could change and they all look at Katy expecting her to join in.  When it was 'my turn' I didn't know what to say.  Before I had a chance to come up with something, a lady who had overheard walked over.  She told us all, rather sternly, that we were healthy, strong girls and that we should stop being ridiculous and be grateful that our bodies worked so well.

It was a really brief encounter, but it left an impression on me.  Looking back now, I can pinpoint that as the time when advertisements and the way women's bodies are discussed began to bother me.  She was absolutely right: we all were physically fit, healthy, and strong.  The fact that we were already, at age 12, so concerned with appearances speaks volumes about where we teach women and girls to get their self-value from.

So, random stranger, Thank You.  You probably didn't realize it (I didn't even realize it), but you shaped my worldview for the better.  And you have my gratitude.

My favorite word (the other one)

I wrote a little while ago about hope and how much I love that word.

My other favorite word is peace.

Do you ever just have moments of profound...I don't know what.  The best way I can think to describe it is the feeling that everything is just as it should be.  It's like when you are at the optometrist and he's asking you which lens is clearer and the right prescription clicks in to place.  All of a sudden you can see all the details you didn't know you couldn't before.  I don't have moments like this very often, and when I do they are very fleeting. 

But they always seem to come just when I need them the most.  A friend of mine calls them God hugs, some people would call it a moment of enlightenment, and some people would say it's my brain releasing a specific cocktail of neurotransmitters.  They are all probably a little bit right.  It doesn't really matter though; whatever it is, I am grateful for those moments when they come.

Basically, I just wanted to take a moment, as I'm sitting outside in the beautiful summer air, to commemorate the moment of Peace I had today, give thanks for it, and wish that all of you experience the same thing every once in a while.