Therapy

I know, I've not been keeping up on my blogging. I've had a lot of stuff going on.

I feel like today's post is really important, though, and something I really want to talk about:

THERAPY

as in going to see a psychologist.

I hear a lot of people say they are afraid of it, or that they don't see the value in talking about your problems, or that they just don't have the time. There are a lot of  reasons NOT to go to therapy. As someone who fought going for a long time, believe me, I've been through them all. On the other hand, as a psychologist and as someone who has become a believer in the process I can tell you in most cases it's worth it.

One of the tricks is to find a therapist and a style of practice that works for you. Talking things through on a couch is not the only way, nor is it the best way for every one. The cliche of lying on a couch while a doctor takes notes usually refers to psychoanalysis. There is also humanistic therapy, cognitive behavior therapy (especially good for phobias), relational therapy, mindfulness training…and the list goes on. Finding a type that feels comfortable and is suited to your specific concerns is really important. Another thing to remember is that therapists are people too. Because of that, each has their own personality and style that they bring into sessions. Finding a person you can relate to, whose style complements your needs is a big part of finding success in therapy. Shop around! When I first moved to Rochester I went to probably 5 different people and then gave up for about 9 months. A few weeks ago I started looking again and found someone I really like! It might take a while, but stick with it.

I also will say that, even with a good therapist and the right type, therapy is really uncomfortable sometimes (ok, a lot of the time). And it's a lot of work. It can feel like you take two steps forward and five steps back. But again, you have to stick with it! It's a process, the payoffs from which are totally worth it.

It makes me sort of sad that there is so much stigma around mental health issues. Seeing a therapist does not make you weak. It does not make you crazy. It does not mean you are whiney. The complete opposite is true: facing your emotions and dealing with them, really dealing with them instead of pushing them away, takes a lot of strength. Being vulnerable takes a lot of courage.

I just started going back, and I've got a lot of work to do to get through my stuff (I have a lot of stuff…). It's really hard and painfully slow for me to feel like I can talk about things and admit that I'm not ok sometimes; today's session was exhausting but I think it will be worth it. If any of you are on the fence about starting therapy DO IT!