My Feminist Debut

You all are probably tired of reading about my experiences with faith lately.  But, sorry, I don't write this blog for you! (That's only half true...it is for you, but it is also a space for me to work out my thoughts :).)  Besides that, it has really been on my mind a lot lately.  I'm not sure why; as part of life, I guess we all go through periods of reflection and 'working things out.'

Right now, one of the things I have been working on sorting out is the way women are treated in the LDS church.  I really like the church's words about women: women are daughters of Heavenly Parents with the potential to become Divine themselves.  Women and men are meant to be partners in this life and the next, working together to better themselves, each other, and the world around them.  Men and women have complimentary and equally valuable innate abilities.

However, each of these teachings can be twisted into something misogynistic and terrible.  A women's greatest value comes from her role as mothers: what message does this send to women who can't have children?  Men preside over their wives and families with priesthood authority: this makes it so easy for men to abuse their priesthood...and their wives, whether physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Women and men have specific roles they must fill and if they don't fit the mold, there is something wrong with them: God made us different for a reason.  Why should we erase that by forcing round pegs in to square holes? (These are just a few examples - I could go on.)

Systemically, I've seen these misinterpretations be employed both unintentionally, and for self serving reasons; I've seen them be the result of ignorance and thoughtlessness; I've seen them be transmitted, sometimes innocently sometimes consciously, from generation to generation.  I've been feeling more and more that it is important to acknowledge that they exist and to address them head on, rather than sweeping the issue under the rug like it has been for so long.

As an individual, I am tired of being shushed when I bring up these kinds of issues.  Too often, I have been told that I need to be more faithful, or if only I truly understood my role as a woman, I wouldn't ask such 'impertinent' questions.  I find this very patronizing. Don't assume that I am on some kind of lower spiritual plane because I ask, don't equate being curious with being weak, and do not equate unquestioning obedience with being strong.

So when one of the writers over at The Exponent II, a blog for Mormon Feminists, invited me to write a guest post I decided to do it.  It is kind of scary for me to be this open about my struggles.  It is making me feel really vulnerable.  Please understand, I am in the middle of a process here.  I am still a practicing Mormon - I have not lost faith in the Church or in God.  In fact, the opposite is true.  I have enough faith in the Church to stick with it in spite of some personal conflicts.  I just wanted to put my questions out there to get some different perspectives, and see what other people think.

And I want other people who might be having the same struggles to know that they are not alone.  Too often, we dismiss people's concerns when we don't share them.  Just because you don't have a problem with something doesn't mean no one else does either.  It also doesn't make their concern less valid.  Just because some one asks questions and looks at their belief system critically does not mean they are giving it up.  It gets frustrating sometimes, and it can be disorienting and scary, but I have always come out the other side with a firmer grasp on what I believe and why.

If you want to read my Exponent post, you can check it out here: Learning a Lesson