The Plan

As some of you know, I have had a minor nervous break down over the last few weeks :) Some stuff has happened with school that has made me question what I want to do with my life. I also lost my scholarship. It's a really bad feeling not knowing if I want to go to school, what I want to study, or if I can even afford it. For a long time I thought I knew what I wanted. Now all of a sudden there is this doubt. I'm not sure where it is comming from, but I don't want to make a wrong choice that will affect me for the rest of my life. This might sound a little dramatic, and I guess it is, but it is a big deal for me.

It's been a little frusterating because the Man Upstairs hasn't told me yet what He wants me to do. Sometimes it would be nice to have things spelled out for us. Or to have a map or users manual or something (ha, oh wait. That would be the scriptures and the prophet)...

But I digress. The point I'm trying to make here is that I am learning a very important lesson I think. I recently spent some time talking to one of my mentors about my dilema. She brought up a very good point; there is a difference between faith and trust. It is easy to say you have faith and belive that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. It is another thing to follow that plan, blindly sometimes. It remindes me of a diving board. It is one thing to tell Dad, yep, I beleive you will catch me when I jump off. It takes a lot more courage to actuall climb up the ladder and walk off the end! Trust is so much harder because it is so much more active. I know I have faith, and now I have to learn to trust.

Any way, I don't mean to whine or anything. I really do love my life; I just had this stuff on my mind and wanted to share. Thanks to all my amazing friends and family! Love you guys.